The Winner of the March Madness Pool!

The Supreme High Roller of 2008 is . . . my husband, Frank. If I could insert some sort of an anti-climatic "wah wah wah waaaah" sound clip, I would. I have had two totally objective contests on this blog and he has won them both. He won the first one by default* and this one, well, he wasn't even that interested. The man sat down for a good 45 minutes, filling out his bracket--for another pool--and only entered mine 1) as a favor to me and 2) because he thought we would be easy pickins. AND HE WINS THE WHOLE GD THING! So congratulations goes out to Frank. Whatever.

2nd Place: Amanda at Sucker for Marketing

3rd Place: Jessie at The Lucky Stone

Thank so much to all who played and congratulations to the Kansas Jayhawks! It was a championship game for the ages!

For the 2 Jayhawk fans out there who read this blog, come back later for more on the tourney and the victory.

*Although he was later disqualified.

Speaking of the Kardashian-Jenners...

Have you seen the blog Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians? Because Bruce Jenner is the most convincing man who looks like an old lesbian:


It's kind of like a weird optical illusion. Who knew you could make a whole blog out of this? (that's totally a Kardashian girl behind him, right?)

Concerning tv

1. I am calling it now: Daisy is going to win Rock of Love 2. While I like the other contender, Ambre, she's more suited to being my insurance agent than being Bret Michael's babe. She's trying--I'll give her that--but am I the only one who is totally uncomfortable seeing her in a belly shirt and two-tone hair? Dude, that's like seeing ME in a belly shirt and two-tone hair, and that's just wrong. If you want to see more of Ambre trying to be someone she isn't, check out her topless photo (she's covering her boobs with her arms) on her myspace. Yikes.


On a related note, I am hoping that my daughter (now age 3) will not audition for Rock of Love 19.

2. Did anyone catch the Kardashian's E! True Hollywood Story? My husband shamed me out of watching it.

3. I have no intention of watching former "Bachelor" Bob Guiney's new show on TLC. Just so you know.


4. Do you read Gawker's Real Housewives of NYC commentary? You should. Gawker states that someone tried to sell them nude photos of our dear Alex McCord Von Bad Teeth Kempen. There's only one reaction to that:

Tagged

Read on to see what Socrates and SGM have in common


Paloma of La Dolce Vita tagged me, so this is me, A to Z.

A - Attached or single? Married.

B - Best friend? My husband, although sometimes he doubts that because I love love love my girlfriends.

C - Cake or pie? Both, sister! Duh.

D - Day of choice? Friday--the whole weekend is in front of me!

E - Essential item? Keeping it real: tv

F - Favorite color? Blue, all shades

G - Gummy bears or worms? Worms because it's fun to stretch them out.

H - Hometown? small-town Kansas

I - Favorite indulgence? molten chocolate cake and reality tv. Combine them and I would probably die.

J - January or July? July--so many people I love were born in July. Plus, I love warm weather much more than cold.

K - Kids? A son age 6 and a daughter age 3.

L - Life isn't complete without? Paloma said this too: good food and good friends.

M - Marriage date? July 18, 1998

N - Number of brothers and sisters? I have a bro and sister who are twins, two years younger than I.

O - Oranges or apples? Apples.

P - Phobia and fears? spiders and being outside in the cold without a coat.

Q - Quote? Shake it like a polaroid picture (not really, but it's the only one I can come up with)

R - Reason to smile? Oh God--everything! I am one of those people who smiles all the gd time and that's why I have major laugh lines.

S - Season of choice? Spring--nothing better than stepping outside to the scent of lilacs.

T - Tag three people: Mamaciter (because I know she secretly loves this shit), JJ (because she needs to update her blog) and Sucker for Marketing (because she's just getting her little blogging feet wet).

U - Unknown fact about me? I was a philosophy major in college. 'Cause I'm deep, you know?

V - Vegetable? French fries.

W - Worst habit? Spending money on useless crap.

X - X-ray or ultrasound? Ultrasound. Never broken a bone, but I've had two babies.

Y - Your favorite food? Sushi and fried chicken. Not at the same time, but now that I think about it, that would actually be just fine.

Z - Zodiac sign? Taurus.


P.S. Gin tagged me for listing 7 weird/random things, so if you want to know EVEN MORE about me, here it is.

a vacation idea and a somewhat unrelated story about my junior prom

My friend Richele over at Richie Design was telling me about her friend David's Palm Springs house that was featured on Apartment Therapy, and she asked if I would write about it in order to get the word out that it's for rent.

It kind of put me in an awkward position. Who's really that into warm weather, mountains, palm trees and luxe digs? I mean, it's snowing in Denver right now, and that's what I love: freezing cold weather in the spring. Why would anyone want to sit out in the warm sunshine by a pool when she could be bundled up enjoying gray skies and bone-chilling wind?

I understand, however, that some of you might be into warmth and beauty and excellent shopping. You're probably the same people who like to take vacations and have fun. Whatever. If you like that sort of thing, email david@modernhideaway.com, put "Blogger Discount" in your heading, and he'll give you a special deal as well as set you up with a super-chic place to spend a girls' weekend or any other type of fab [insert British accent] holiday.

To see more of the lovely house pictured above and get some details, visit modernhideaway.com.


[Okay, okay, truth be told, I LOVE Palm Springs. I went there for spring break with my family when I was 16. My mom and I spent much of that time shopping for a dress for my junior prom and because I was awful and teenager-y, I rejected anything that she liked even though she pretty much has excellent taste. I ended up insisting upon a blah strapless dress on the last day and it was altered there in Palm Springs. I'm sure I tried it on when it arrived at my house, but the only thing I remember is putting the dress on about 10 minutes before my date arrived and the following conversation occurred:

SGM: I feel like it's going to fall down!

Mom: It's not going to fall down; it fits perfectly. Here, put your arms straight up in the air and you'll see. It will stay up.

SGM lifts her arms halfway up and the dress slides down to her waist, exposing flat teenager boobs.

Mom: Oh.

Doorbell rings. SGM spends the rest of the night hunched over with her arms clamped to her side. So yeah. It's difficult to slow dance to Richard Marx when you can't move your arms away from your body.]

"I want Ginger to die. Honestly, I do"

Quote of the week comes from Ally, talking about Jill's ill-behaved dog, Ginger. Guess what? I can't say that I blame her. If you didn't see Ginger straining her tongue to lick inside Jill's nostril for what seemed to be at least 10 seconds, well then let me give you the honor:


And Jill's comments--something along the lines of "we can't let them know that you do this"--makes me think that this is not the first time this has happened. Are boogers protein? Because the dog trainer specifically said that you shouldn't be feeding her so much protein, Jill. Weren't you listening?

Sorry, in addition to grossing all of you out, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was up last night with a sick kid and now I'm not feeling so hot myself, so this Real Housewives of NYC recap will be short and sweet.

1. Ramoner. Tank top with buckles + mini-skirt + high heeled boots = hooker. Ramoner, Avery's friends are not your friends. I know that you're trying to be the cool mom and all, but you're definitely treading into Dina Lohan territory, and I don't think you want a little Lindsay on your hands. Do I need to sit you down in front of some Dr. Phil so that you can learn that the goal is not to be your daughter's best friend but her parent?

What's the name of your family business again? I can't remember. You should really push it more.

Nice to see Avery loosen up a bit in this episode. I think she's darling. Habitually Chic mentioned that she'd be up for adopting Avery, and I would totally support that. The courts might too after seeing this episode. Also, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I found Mario somewhat attractive in this episode. Help me.

2. Bethenny. TOO MUCH BETHENNY on this show. She talks and talks and talks like she is the only person in the world who has ever had a break-up. Shut up, already! What a fabulous body she has though. Holy smokes. Are those implants? I'd have to vote yes, simply because no one that skinny has boobs that big. One more thing--Bethenny's face is driving me nuts. The freakish shape of her jaw just distracts me, as does the never ending crazy jibber-jabbering.

3. Jill. Already covered you. If you get that nostril-licking dog under control (or at least away from the cameras), I just might start to like you.

4. Alex. I know we're all thinking this: how much did Simon spend on the birthday party? And how on earth did he convince all of those people to come? Muy interesante that Alex's party was on a boat, thrown by a man named Simon who gave her some expensive jewelry. Gosh, why does that sound so familiar?

5. Countess. I know I've said it before, but your children are gorgeous. Bratty? Yes, but still gorgeous. Thought Noel's breakdancing was pretty cute. I wonder what his teacher Cyclone thinks about teaching rich white kids how to breakdance. Cyclone, are you out there? SGM wants an interview.

Please fill in the gaps for me, my dears.

Real Housewives of New York City

Inside the mind of a Lucky staffer

"Okay, WHY did they pick me today?! Is this some sort of joke? Isn't it obvious that I woke up late and still drunk? HELLO, I put a belt around my neck. Thank God my little sister left her jean skirt at my apartment or else I'd be wearing the jeans I wore last night, and that has Jaeger all over it. Fuck! Last night my hair looked like Whitney Port's but now it just looks flat and reeks of smoke. I feel like I'm going to throw up . . . oh, God, maybe if I put my arm in front of my stomach I won't barf in front of my boss. No! I will not smile. The only thing you're getting is my bitchface because I am NOT amused. Are you finished yet? Good. I'll be in the bathroom."

Lucky's Cute Outfit of the Day