Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lucky Staffers Unite!

Have you seen the new website of Lucky Magazine? I used to be addicted to Catch of the Day, and it's still there, I still look at it every once in a while, but they've added a new feature: Cute Outfit of the Day (aka Cute Girl of the Day, their term not mine). That's right, an official competition among employees--nay, girls--to see who looks the cutest every single day. I am equally enthralled and repelled by this concept, and holy shit this would freak me out if I worked there. You know that there is one girl who has not been picked and everyone is snickering behind her back and she's freaking out but trying to play it cool as she steals from the accessories closet and rushes home day after day to try on outfits for 4 hours and nobody at work is going to help her and she doesn't want anyone else at work to help her because she can do this on her own and because they would fucking sabotage her.*

And then there's Gigi Guerra, who you know KILLS it every day, but she can't win every day because what would be the point? What IS the point of this competition? Public humiliation? And who is this judge?** That is the key question, because you know the bitch shows up to work and several staffers are shoving each other aside to give her her extra-hot organic soy decaf half syrup disgusting orange pumpkin spice latte and a foot massage. Does she line them up at 9 a.m. sharp and then walk past them with a clipboard, looking them up and down? Does she smack them on the hand with a ruler if the hem of their blousy dress doesn't hit in the right place? These women are not models with styled looks, they are (and I'm using this word loosely) journalists. I know that they work for a fashion magazine and should show up ready to rock, but a daily contest? This qualifies as undue stress, don't you think?

*No I am NOT going to mention Devil Wears Prada here because that is a movie and this is real life.
** Is it you, Andrea Linett? Is it? (God, you are so behind the scenes that I can't even link to you. Very suspicious.)

Monday, October 29, 2007


A few days ago, my husband asked me the age-old question: If Tim Gunn and Clinton Kelly were drowning in the ocean and you could only save one, who would you save?

This question paralyzed me. And looking at their faces right now kills me. I look at Tim and I want to pick him. So kind yet so honest, so poised yet not at all stuffy. The man gets teary-eyed when he sees his make-over subjects transformed into confident, self-loving people. He is the definition of graciousness. How can I not pick him? But then I look at Clinton and I want to pick Clinton. He has one of the sharpest wits on tv (his website is even funny) but is never malicious toward the insane people who come on his show. I love his signature argyle sweaters, plus he puts up with Stacy London. Not only puts up with her, but brings out the best in her and even makes her likable.

Choose? I would rather fling myself into the ocean and drown with them.

Who would you save?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Book for the week

I'm starting this tonight if I can stop surfing the internet for 2 seconds. It's a memoir of a man (who happens to be Augusten Burroughs' brother) with Asperger's syndrome. Anyone else read it? I'll let you know how it goes.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

I'm all in favor of recycling, but ...

SOL is Denver's premier lingerie shop in Denver's pricey Cherry Creek North. Why, why then are they soliciting used bras?

Am I misinterpreting this? I did not know that dingy stretched-out bras were items that could be donated. Or do they only accept bras that are in excellent condition? But who would donate a bra in excellent condition? Donating a bra is like donating underwear or something, right? It just seems a little demeaning. What's next? Old toothbrushes? Q-tips? Yes, I know, 7 questions in one paragraph. It's a bit much. I'm just perplexed.

**Update: I went to a consignment store today to find some shoes for the trailer trash Halloween party I am attending tonight, and what did they have, dangling from a big rack (no pun intended)? BRAS. Crazy.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Tom DeLonge Scores

Last Tuesday my husband had surgery to repair a torn ligament in his knee and he has been immobilized and in lots of pain. Added to this, my kids didn't have school this week and were in desperate need of entertainment that was not tv and food that was not previously frozen. Lots of nursing and tap-dancing on my part. But right now everyone is asleep and/or drugged up, and it is relatively calm around here. So let's get on with it!

While my mother-in-law was at my house today and I was at the grocery store trying to find more things to buy so I wouldn't have to go home, I picked up In Style Home. And guess what. This guy here? Giving the devil horns? (Note: the website where I found this picture is apparently down, but I'm not going to replace it because I refuse to take out the term "devil horns" in this post. Let's just hope it gets back up soon!)

He looks like he lives in his van. But no--he has a seriously beautiful home. He is Tom DeLonge, formerly of the band Blink 182 and currently of Angels & Airwaves. His wife, Jennifer DeLonge, designs furniture and interiors. I love love love her style:

What I like most about this are the windows at the top. Normally I think that they would be ignored because they are tiny and up so high, and one would be inclined to paint the wall a light color and the windows would just blend. But no! She went dark* and the windows look like frames themselves. The chair and the lamp only add to the look, making the end result very cool, very rock-star-lives-here.

And now for the baby's room:

The valance, the grown up fabric on the little tiny chair, THE DAYBED. I could just die over that daybed. The chalkboard under the chair rail...hmmm. I can just picture my kids sliding their bodies across it and then rubbing up against the daybed.
But still. Beautiful.

The living room:

Please ignore my hugely inept scanning job and just look at the colors. How about those black accents? Ahhhh, my eyes are happy. I just want to take that fur throw and curl up on that couch and be all skinny and rich. WAY TO GO, Tom DeLonge. I don't know you, but it appears that you married way above yourself.

*What color is it? I wish I knew. Nothing in the resource section.

All photos courtesy of In Style Home, Fall/Winter 2007.

Kelly Wearstler's belly button and more

photo courtesy of bravotv.com

We all know from Kelly Wearstler's work and from her stint on Top Design that she marches to the beat of a different drummer. This and her innate sense of style is part of what makes her such an outstanding designer. However, she was "fugged" this past week--not for the first time-- and no one has mentioned it on the design blogs. I guess because technically it's not design. Anyhow. If you haven't read about this already, you should. Not only will it give you a chuckle, but it will make you feel better about yourself knowing that KWID makes mistakes too (but by all means if you think her dress is fab and appropriate outside of a brothel, please comment).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I'll be right back

I know that this blog is a tiny little newborn, and I hate the thought of already neglecting it, but things are wacko-crazy at my house. More on that later. Posting may be non-existent for the rest of the week, but I plan to be back over the weekend. Please, no one call social services in my absence.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I am so not his target audience

Okay, stick with me on this one.

I live in Denver and for the most part, it is a very homogeneous town. Very white bread, vanilla ice cream, lots of upper and middle class white people running around exercising and talking about skiing.* The radio stations here are the same way; it's all Nickelback, The Fray, Rob Thomas over and over and over. As a result, I had heard of Kanye West but had never listened to his music, just thought he was an a-hole with a big ego and an even bigger yap and a misguided sense of fashion. Example:

But then last week I happened upon this new radio station and I heard Gold Digger. Kanye? Are you out there, honey? I love you. This song is glorious. For real. It is lewd and degrading in many ways, but it makes me so happy for some reason.

I understand that this song came out forever ago and that I am way behind the times, but I urge you now to shut the door to your office, listen to (more than watch) the video below and shake your moneymaker. I think you will feel compelled to do so. **

*which is not to say that I don't like it, because I do. What it lacks in cutting edge culture, it makes up for by being beautiful. Have you ever been to a concert a Red Rocks? Nothing better, I tell you.

**Note to self: idea for future post--deconstructing the lyrics of Kanye West. Just kidding! But not really.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

When you really really want to buy...

those $268 pair of boots from J Crew, but you can't because your house is a money pit/you're trying to save money/ you really don't need another gd pair of boots, here are a couple of books that will shame your materialistic little soul into resisting:

It's called A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson.* Let's first get one thing clear: I don't read a lot of non-fiction, and science usually bores me to tears (and makes me feel extra stupid). The only reason I ended up having this book in my possession was that 1) I was accidentally in the science section, and 2) the cover was intriguing and 3) it was from the library so I didn't have to pay for it.

That being said, this book is fascinating. Every sentence lets you know how tiny you are in the grand scheme of things, and how many millions of things have to go just right every day for the earth (and you, and those boots) to exist. It will make you want to kiss the ground and put on sunscreen and feel complete awe at some of the brilliant minds who have done all of this thinking for us so that we can watch Rock of Love. Read the first page and you will be hooked. And after you finish it, you will feel exceedingly retarded and useless yet consoled by the fact that you just read a big fat science book.

The second book is A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner, one of my all-time favorite books. Most of it takes place in Taliban-ruled Afghanistan, and dude, this was one depressing book, all the way through. If you want to read what it's like to lose everything and be horribly abused and treated with utmost cruelty, have at it. This is the book for you. It will make you feel ridiculous for wanting anything more than a clean burqa.

So, after reading these books, you will still want the boots, or whatever it is you've been coveting. But it will take the edge off, my friends, and you'll feel some healthy self-loathing to boot.**

*Why is the title so teeny and the author's name so big? Just noticed that. Muy interesante.
**Ha ha, get it? Pun intended.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Ha ha, good one, Domino!

Domino magazine and I have a love-hate relationship. I was so eager to subscribe when it first came out, and I drooled over the first few issues. Then it got all uppity on me; I hate when magazines do a story on "Where to Find Affordable Art!" and the featured pieces are upwards of $1500. Dude, my idea of affordable art is etsy. Plus it seemed very NYC-centric and I don't like to support the rest of the country being rendered irrelevant. So in order to punish Domino, I didn't merely let my subscription run out, I CANCELED it. Oh yes, my sting is swift.

I held out for six months or so and finally came crawling back. For the most part, I have been happy with the fact that I made up with Domino. I even peruse its website on occasion, and recently I came across the dominomag.com gallery featuring "inspiring" rooms from the Domino decorating contest . Most were stunning. But then there was this:

Huh? Is this a joke? It makes me question everything about Domino, namely the eyesight of every single person who works there. THIS is what it takes to be on Domino's website? Four triangles (or upon closer look, maybe 8?) painted in unappealing colors and some flat pillows set at an angle? Oh, the poor girl who has to shiver under that thin bedspread! Was this dominomag.com's way of supporting designers in third-world countries? Then I read the room designer's comments:

"I think this room is a winner because it is a unique pattern for a bedroom and the colors are in style this season. I was inspired to decorate this room because I wanted the colors to match the comforter and pillows while incorporating all of the colors in bed setting. What is phenomenal about my decorating job is that I was able to give my sister a room that is different from all of her high school friends and a room that she can rave about. It may surprise you that this was my first major decorating experience."
— David from Philadelphia, PA

It is indeed phenomenal that this person is not from a developing country but from Philadelphia. And I'm guessing that he is about 15-17 years old and maybe a-bit-in-the-closet gay. Okay. I take no pleasure in making fun of children, so I will instead say this to David's aunt who must work somewhere at dominomag.com: shame on you! Whatever your sister did to guilt you into this, is it worth your job? Your self-respect? Now, delete this picture from the gallery before your boss finds out and then go buy your niece a nice fluffy down comforter.