Thursday, September 4, 2008

Misc.

1. Who's going to cover Top Design on a regular basis? Someone needs to step up, bitches. There is so much that needs to be said about this show, including how Jonathan Adler described the haphazard we-have-no-time-left placement of a mirror as "subversive." What? I don't understand why the contestants aren't given a little more time. Like just another day or so. I think that's when some real creativity could come out.

I honestly don't know how I'm not president of Bravo yet.

2. I have always wanted a "Welcome to the Gun Show" t-shirt because that joke never gets old to me. It probably does get old to Frank, as I say it to him every week while flexing my bingo arms, but I find it quite hysterical. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend doing an image search for "welcome to the gun show." Very entertaining.


You know what would be a money-maker? A "Welcome to the Gunn Show" t-shirt with a drawing of Tim Gunn in his classic hand-stroking-chin pose. People would totally buy that shit! I would also like to see a "Is this 140? It's not 140" shirt. Is anyone taking notes? These are millionaire ideas FOR FREE.

Seriously, Bravo. If you ever want to take it to the next level and make some serious $$$, you know who to call.

3. I am still searching for a new hairdresser (is that an old fashioned word? wtf are kids calling hairdressers these days?). I have not had color for 2.5 months and my hair looks like this:

Don't worry. I have an appointment for next Friday.

4. Is anyone watching Margaret Cho's show? Is it any good?

5. Remember that kiosk worker Roy who swindled me last winter? Asshole! He is apparently finished with the dead sea skin care and has moved onto another kiosk gig for which he wears a white lab coat and sells some sort of pear skin care. Has anyone seen this? Anyhow, I witnessed him charming the pants off of some suburban mom today and I wanted to grab her and shout "HE'S A CON MAN! RUN!" But I didn't. It's her journey.

6. That is all. Enjoy your weekend!

21 comments:

zakary said...

Holy hell, I just laughed my ass off. My husband is the one that always gets sucked in by those god forsaken kiosk people. I was 7 months pregnant last summer and was in the maternity store buying nursing bras and I come out and some hot foreign kiosk chick is about to swipe my husband's debit card for $310 worth of cuticle/hand/foot cream bullshit. I almost broke her wrist snatching his debit card back.

Anywho, I think Zoe should do the Top Design review. She's watched it the other night and declared them "Douchettes".

I'll check her schedule.

katek said...

*SOB* I was really, really hoping you'd be writing up Top Design. No?

I *Heart* You said...

It's her journey - might be the best thing i have heard all week. I am going to steal it and use it.

i would cover top design but my hills recaps give me anxiety as it is. i have already given up on project runway.

Anonymous said...

Margaret Cho 's show is great. The real stars of the show are her bat shit crazy parents and personal assistant..........

Decorno said...

Seriously, the photo of candy corn as a reference point for your current hair color is a piece of genius comedy.

Anonymous said...

I agree with The Decorno. Photo selection worthy of the Masterful Elaine of Portland.

The Lil Bee said...

Sister, I'd let you guide me on my journey any day. You freakin KILL ME! And the funny thing is, I totally thought you meant The Gunn Show at first, just cause it's you, and then I scrolled down and VOILA! Geniosity.

Bravo should totally hire your ass.

Oh, and it's called a STYLIST. Try using it in a sentence. "Today I went to my STYLIST and got a spiral perm." STYLIST.

Anonymous said...

First off, I am coveting the Tim Gunn t-shirt. Run with the idea before someone snatches it - probably kiosk guy.

DUNCAN said...

Love the Cho Show, her assistant is a fucking scream!

DUNCAN said...

Love the Cho Show, her assistant is a fucking scream!

Jennifer said...

1. Cho Show kicks serious ass. It's scripted, but it's funny shit.

2. I fear that my attempt to cover Top Design would digress into a weekly critique of Kelly Wearstler's whackadoodle hairstyles.

3. Yes, you should be president of Bravo. It's your journey.

jen said...

I would totally buy a Welcome to the Gunn Show t-shirt. BRILLIANT.

Jessie said...

Where else can you get a picture of candy corn as a hair analogy???

NOWHERE.

You rock.

(And so does Bee for removing hairdresser from your vocab.)

karly said...

Erin and are are totally covering slop design, you can see our first 2 posts here: http://design-crisis.com/?p=92 and here: http://design-crisis.com/?p=91

get on the bus

Richie Designs said...

I wish I could say I would cover it for you but I can't watch Top Design. Todd makes me nuts [makeup blah personality] and Jonathan Alder makes my skin crawl.

You should be Bravo's Prez! who do we call to make that happen.

Welcome to the Gunn Show - f'ing hilarious

Megan said...

YOU ARE A SHOW ALL ON YOUR OWN! "It's her journey", like the others said, most hilarious, and something I'm going to have to put into my rotation. It's going to confuse the heck out of people since I'm from Marin, they'll think I'm being New Agey and that I got the phrase from some new book called Awaken! Walking The Spirit Path to an Enlightened You by Shakti Little Sparrow. Naturally they'll assume the book came from Open Secret, and that I also bought some rune stones there. (the store really exists)

bill said...

Hey SGM - you are still allowed to say hairdresser and this comes from someone who is in a 12 year relationship w/one - he refers to himself as that - I always wanted him to say stylist b/c like the lil bee, it sounds better but he doesn't think of himself that way so I go w/it...and have heard his colleagues refer to themselves as hairdressers. So, there you go - notice I wrote "in a relationship" and not married b/c we can't get married b/c there are too many scary Sarah Palins in this world.

Anonymous said...

yes hairdresser is kind of an old fashioned term these days... not SO much though. call them "stylists" and you'll look cooler. "hairstylists" to be more specific and not make it sound like you're some pretentious whore who has a personal stylist (can you tell im jealous..?)

!! love you

alis said...

I saw a huge sign saying "EYEBROW DESIGN" over a beauty parlour.
In Turkey we call hairdressers "Coiffeurs", in French...

Doodle Whore said...

I'm already doodling Top Design...

Doodle Whore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.