Wednesday, September 3, 2008

What the hell, God?

Top Design, America's Next Top Model and Sarah Palin all airing AT THE SAME TIME? My dvr can only record two shows at a time, and then I can't even watch a third channel in live tv. I have to watch one of the two shows that I'm recording and HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? One show had to be sacrificed, which is just cruel and tragic and WHY, GOD? WHY? Maybe I should be taking this up with Comcast or my time zone, or maybe I just should have gone upstairs to watch the third show on our other tv, but I'm going straight to the top with this one. It's the only way to get shit done, you know?

Anyhow. ANTM was the victim. No offense to Tyra, but the show is on cycle 23 or something and I can read brilliant recaps at Four Four.

I haven't watched Top Design yet, so don't tell me anything. But did you know that Jeff Lewis will be guest judging this season? I can tell you who's the winner in that challenge: WE ARE. I am probably going to lick the tv. Frank recently told me that I am acting a little Mel-ish* in regard to Jeff. I think he's just jealous.


I did watch Sarah Palin, and I am going to probably lose 90% of you here, but I liked her. I thought she was feisty and tough and smart and sincere. It doesn't bother me that her teenage daughter is preggers and that the baby daddy was smacking his gum on stage, but it does bother me that she's pro-life. That alone will prevent me from voting for her, but if McCain and Palin are elected, I won't feel all hell-in-a-handbasket-y. By the way, how trashy did Cindy McCain look? I didn't recognize her at first and thought "whose second wife is that?"

To close out the most political post in the history of this blog, I present to you Frank's butt at Mount Rushmore.

He's the one in the foreground. God bless America, and please don't lick the screen.


*For those of you who do not know, this is a reference to Flight of the Conchords, a hilarious HBO show that will help you to justify your insanely high and unconscionable cable bill.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, I'm sure you get this all the time, but I just totally laughed my friggin' ass off.

"But did you know that Jeff Lewis will be guest judging this season? I can tell you who's the winner in that challenge: WE ARE."

Genius!

Leah said...

You had me right up until "I liked Sarah Palin" ...

But, yes, the husband and I did a little happy dance when we saw Jeff on the upcoming episodes teaser on Top Design.

Speaking of TD, is anyone blogging it? SGM? Tom and Lorenzo? Anyone? Bueller?

karey m. said...

you're my favorite dirty habit.

and you're right...i'm not going to be angry at the outcome of this election if it doesn't swing my way.

because the bottom line? well played, america. an african-american, a woman with a mess of kids having kids, and only two old whities {as opposed to the usual four!}.

i'm proud of america. right?

and i'm also proud that you're rich. because how the heck else can you justify a sixty-five buck tommy bahama tee?

oh, wait. that bum o' frank's. right. it deserves a nattily-attired top-shelf. xoxo. consider my monitor licked.

hello gorgeous said...

You are very, very funny (but you already know that).

Your husband's butt at Mount Rushmore got me feeling all patriotic.

And a little randy.

Anonymous said...

Your choice to vote for Obama solely based on Palin's pro-life beliefs is pitiful. Do you know that the Democrat's rule both the House and Senate. Pro-choice will not be revoked.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous, did you know that which party controls the House and Senate can change during the term of the presidency? Moreover, did you know that cases like Roe v. Wade don't arise out of Federal law attempting to make abortion illegal they arise out of state laws. Last time I checked not every state's congress was controlled by Democrats. Did you also know that who the president appoints to the Supreme Court is ultimately more important in this debate than the president or the Congress as the Supreme Court Justices are the ones who can potentially cast a deciding vote to overturn Roe v. Wade?

Archer said...

Hey, I like Sarah Palin, too!

And Flight of the Conchords is awesome! I am concerned that your husband said you were acting like Mel. SGM, that's kinda bad.

Richie Designs said...

I'm PMSing and out to hit someone today so I'm going to take Anonymous out in the back alley and beat the shit out of him [or her]- you're a douche bag.

duh...if we pick a prez who is pro-life and he gets to nominate 3-4 justices this next term what do you think is going to happen?


Pallin was great on screen. Of course anyone with half of a personality would be better than George W. I liked her presence as well and I'm for Obama. It will be nice to see people who are good on screen talk this next bunch of months.

I will always vote pro-choice because I want my nieces and nephews when they grow up to have options for their future. Reversal of R vs W is a very strong possibility and when your daughter has to go to a back alley in 10 years to "take care of things" don't come crying to me.

Richie Designs said...

I was so cranky there I forgot to say nice ass.
totally licked!

Anonymous said...

Yeah up until the Palin comment was totally cracking up. She is a good actress...the part suits her. I ALMOST felt sorry for Robot McCain as he walked on stage, as for his wife, sigh, I am fairly sure my aunt had a Barbie in my grandmothers attic that eerily resemled Cindy, plastic and all.
Oh and anon 1...you should not use "won't or will not" when it comes to overturning anything political in this country...we have an african american and a woman on the ticket, neither of whom could vote less than decade ago.

Jen said...

SGM - you're amazing as usual, haha. I'm going to pour one out for Jeff, Mel (and the entire FOTC cast) and Frank's bootay - and by pour one out I mean take a sip of my coffee b/c even though I love vino it's only 10 a.m. and I'm pretty sure pouring coffee on the carpet would piss off the office cleaners.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I meant anon 2, my bad.

Anonymous said...

Good to have a post SGM. Frank's ass is totally rad and in that picture, it kinda looks like he is sporting a pony tail, or is that someone standing next to him? Didnt picture Frank with a pony tail, yet kinda a turn on.
Turn offs? PALIN! (Ok,she did a much better job than I thought she would) I couldnt help but look at her and say "This potentially (Johnny Mac aint young) could be the leader of the Free World?" Yikes! I thought I was a liberated woman but damn, is this the right time for a career change? Newborn and a pregger teen!?

Anonymous said...

The threat of overturning Roe V Wade is very real if the Reps win in Nov. My hope is that WHEN Obama wins he appoints HRC to the Supreme Court, where she will be loads more effective than she would be as the Veep. Of course, this is just one stay at home mothers opinon.

Love Flight of the Chonchords too, I could spend hours watching them on Youtube. I agree - calling you Mel is not so kind!!

SGM said...

1. Oooh, I love me a little nastiness on the blog!

2. To Karey M--bitch, we are so freaking rich over here, it's insane. I can't even keep track of all of our diamond encrusted houses! But I'm still not as rich as you with your butt-lovin' majllion dollar JT jeans.

3. I love the phrase "pour one out." Is that a Flavor Flav originated concept?

4. Frank does not have a ponytail. Maybe someday, if you're very very good, I will show you a picture of young Frank with a mullet.

5. McCain did look a little roboto. I wanted to pick him up and crack his back.

Anonymous said...

Anon comment 3 AWESOME rebuttal to Anon comment 2! You and SGM are my two favortie people. SGM I will forgive you for your like of Palin because you put up my FAVE pic of Jeff. And hey, when were you at Rushmore? I am a SD girl!!! I would have loved to have a beer or two with ya when you were visiting my state! Did you stop by Sturgis for the Bike Rally???? That is something to behold!

Kelly said...

Don't despair! I get my ANTM fix on youtube. It's a little annoying that it's broken up in 10-minute segments, but it's how I get by. I don't have a fancy DVR...I'm too cheap to even have a TV that works. I don't even get reception, so I'm stuck with scouring the Internet for shows. I'm classy!

Anonymous said...

She's a good Teleprompter reader, I can give you that.

Not sure how we can determine from the speech that Mrs. Palin is "smart."

Anonymous said...

I too was torn between watching ANTM, Project Runway/Top Design and Palin. So...I nixed ANTM because its getting a little "tired" and made it a Bravo night by watching both Project Runway & Top Design. This morning, I watched Palin online.

CANNOT WAIT to see the episode with Jeff Lewis!!!

TEAM ZOILA!

Palin was good....but not good enough!

TEAM OBAMA/BIDEN!

Anonymous said...

I have major pregnancy brain...I meant century.

Pigtown*Design said...

I thought the funniest part of watching Palin last night was seeing her youngest daughter using spit to slick down the baby's hair.

Anonymous said...

I always love the funny Frank's butt pictures. :)

I think Palin is very smart, but her accent kills me. And her Karen Walker hair. Haha. I do sort of like her, but I'm not a McCain fan.

I think that everytime I see posters, I'm just going to say it like her. "Pausters!"

Anonymous said...

I have my OWN picture of Frank's flaring buttocks, and ladies, it is sublime.

this one said...

i think that i love everyone of your topics in this post. this is why sgm is the bloggers form of crack.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with her on a lot of points, but I still like Sarah Palin, just as I also disagree with but generally like McCain and Obama (Biden: not so much). I suppose I'm in the 10% who can not love all of someone's policies but doesn't need to spew bile about her...

dee said...

Um, a) just somehow saw this post (I think I was in a Fashion Week blur the last two weeks), and b) actually took the time—for the first time ever—to read all the comments. Yowza!

I think Palin's a real-life Bree who is raising her daughter's first-born as her own, but yeah, bitch isn't half bad to look at. Especially when she stands next to that Stepford Wife, Cindy, who looks like a wax figure half melted. My REAL concern though is why I haven't seen a Hills recap. Hello?! Get that computer on the mend, sister:)

Oh and PS I linked to your badass Zoe "Joy killed it shut it down she owns it I die" shiz. BraZILLiant!