Monday, December 17, 2007
You are SO BEAUTIFUL! I mean it. This cover stopped me dead in my tracks, although I didn't recognize you and in fact initially thought you were Charlize Theron. Personally, I prefer your natural look (a la Knocked Up) because you are so fresh and young and pretty--you don't need all that make-up. Still, this cover is a knock-out (and fyi, the double suicide story promised on the cover is disturbing yet fascinating; read it here).
I'll get to the point, Kath. Do you need a new manager? Because I am available. Here is a sample of the advice I would be offering.
1. You are a celebrity chameleon. It's not only the cover of Vanity Fair, but the whole photo shoot. Here you are looking like young Kim Basinger:
and then young Michelle Pfeiffer:
and here, very Scarlett Johansson-y:
And call me crazy, but I see a smidge of Jessica Simpson here, minus the large bosom and fake tan:
You are virtually unrecognizable in all of these photos. Let's get you a look! Uber-glam is fab and all, but it's been done. And it's not you! You seem so down-to-earth (especially when you were defending your bff TR Knight during that whole Isaiah Washington debacle), and I know that you don't take yourself too seriously, because no one who stars in a Judd Apatow movie can. Natural, Katherine. And recognizable. Let's look into it.
2. Stop smoking. This is you, isn't it young lady?
If you keep smoking (and you want to stay in the biz), you will need a bit of plastic surgery to erase the signs of premature aging, and then you risk ending up looking like this:
and nobody wants that.
All right, Katherine. That's it. Call me if you're interested. I'm kind of busy waging a war against Rachael Ray, so if I don't answer the phone, just leave a message. Love ya.
Thanks to Vanity Fair for all of the chameleon photos.
Posted by SGM at 5:41 PM