Saturday, December 20, 2008
Jennifer Aniston's Christmas Letter
Greetings, Friends and Family!
I hope this letter finds you well. John and I have had kind of a tumultuous year, but we are together FOREVER now and wanted to wish all of you the happiest of holidays. We are truly blessed to have each other and to be so blissfully in love. Here are some photos to prove it!
Isn't he adorable when he doesn't smile? I know he looks fucking miserable, but really he just has this dry sense of humor. As he explained it to me, that means he doesn't smile when he tells jokes, or when he's in my presence.
Speaking of sense of humor, look at this one!
He's just told me that he hasn't slept in days and thinks we could use some "time apart." Isn't he hysterical? I can't stop laughing! Everyone should be so lucky to have a boyfriend with such a dazzling wit.
Now for the big news: I am trying to impregnate myself with his baby through sheer force of will.
That's right--no sex (he says he needs to save his energy for his fans, whatever that means!). If only I could get him to make a little eye contact with me, I think I could do it. 'Tis the season for immaculate conceptions, you know!
Wishing you peace, joy and reciprocated love this holiday season,
Jen (and John!)
Why am I so hard on Jen? This should explain everything.