Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Bravo News

"My hair is severe, my ill-fitting dress is Jessica McClintock c. 1992, and I have no accessories except for one boring-ass ring.
DEFINITELY. NOT. BANANAS."


1. Rachel Zoe, what the hell is going on? (thanks to tipster Halbizures.)

2. Are you watching Top Chef? Is anyone not on Team Carla? I loved her from the moment that she said she knew her restaurant wars dessert was fucked, so she just sent it out "with looooooove." Tom gave her his jaded eyeroll, but I thought it was pretty awesome. Carla, if you ever want to cook for me, PLEASE CALL ME. I can promise you that I will not invite those OC whores over for an "etiquette party."

3.
"Jeana, stop telling her that lipgloss is fattening!"

Speaking of those OC whores, we have another jaw-dropping double-header with the Real Housewives tonight! The Orange County reunion is up first, followed by the second episode of NYC. To whet your appetite: remember the preview clip of Countess Nastypants rudely snatching the microphone at some sort of fancy event? That episode airs tonight--watch the scene in its entirety here:



So gracious and demure! (Contingent upon "gracious" and "demure" being re-defined as "pretentious" and "asshole-y.")

See you sweet bitches tomorrow.


Photo of Debra "this-shuts-nothing-down" Messing via the magnificent TLo.

158 comments:

Anonymous said...

I die.

hello gorgeous said...

Aren't I supposed to be watching our beloved Prez? I guess that's what DVRs are for - I'll DVR him. :-)

I am in love with Carla. I loved her tortoise impression passing all the hares.

SGM said...

President? What president?

I love him, but he needs to start talking about things looking UP.

Paloma {La Dolce Vita} said...

Ha Ha, SGM! I wish things would start looking up, too.

I love Carla and am rooting for her to win. I also hopes she finds me in Houston one day and makes me one of her rustic apple tarts. I die over them! Girl can bake! I do miss Fabio, though. I never thought he would win, but I freakin' love his commentary! The things that come out of his mouth crack me up. I really hope that Stefan's cocky ass loses.

I am so excited for the RHOC reunion tonight!

zakary said...

I broke up with Top Chef. HOWEVER, we got back together this weekend because Carla is in the top three.

EmElle said...

OK, I'm an east-coaster so I'm already a few minutes into the RHOC reunion. Vicki and Tamra...BEOTCHES beyond (beyond, beyond) belief. Oooooh, you will feel so stabby.

Andy Cohen is so damn adorable.

J said...

I just finished the RHOC.

Damn bitches. I don't even care if Gretchen is dating again, or if she was a gold digger. If you stay with a man while he dies of cancer, that says a little something about the kind of person you are. Unlike Vicki, who would drop Donn in a hot minute. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

Vicki and Tamra are C*nts

Poor Donn. Poor Tamra's kids

And most of all, poor Jeff

Lynn is a sweetheart.

Scandalous Housewife said...

I am SO Team Karla! Luhhh-Huvvv her! What is up with the 'Denim and Diamonds' header on the The Countess de PooPoo video? There was a Cowboy Western shit hole outside of my hometown in Oklahoma with that name! Purrr-fect!

Anonymous said...

Just finished the RHOC reunion. Vicki is SO out of touch with the reality of who she is and how she treats other people. And it drives me nuts that she won't let people defend themselves, instead telling them how it is...so, so, so aggravating!

I like Gretchen, but I hope some super sleuth gets to the bottom of the Gretchen boyfriend scandal!

Jilly in Idaho said...

Okay, watched both shows. What a night!! I hate Tamara but DESPISE Vicki. Wait, which is worse? Anyway which ever is worse is for Vicki. She had the audacity to tell Lynne that she said mean things to her too? She tried to turn everything she said or did to Lynne to make it seem like Lynne had it coming. Vicki sat there sooo smug, loving anything hateful Tamara said about Gretchen and went on about how her two children would never do this or that when both of them talk about her behind her back or won't put up with her shit to her face. She should live in Egypt, on the De-Nile. What - a - bitch. She should have saved some of her money and got a nose job when she was having her boobs done.
And Tamara. All of her trailer trash morals and attitude were front and center. She needs to shut up and get a hot oil treatment for that fried hair and while she's at it get some Retin A on her leathery chest. Stat. I don't know who ever suggested to her that she's the 'hottest housewife' but they must have said it while she was sauteeing in the sun. She needs to worry about Simon, who was let go at the Mercedes dealership, getting a real job and hoping their house sells in a this down market before they lose it. Now that would be Karma.
Jeanna does play both sides since she's the one that told the two bleached hags about someone's clothes on Gretchen's bedroom floor. Who cares? This happened months after Jeff died anyway.
I'm still pissed, hours after watching this train wreck. Can't wait to read your take on it all.

Lolo said...

I actually couldn't bring myself to watch the any of the Hobags last night. Weird. Instead I watched the speech and yeah, it's going to take getting used to. That feeling? It's the absence of smoke being blown up my ass and our President not pissing on my head and telling me it's rain trickling down into my bank account.

ANYWAYS, I've jumped ship and found my new show. Gs to Gents on Mtv, for reals. Taking a bunch of hoodrats and corner boys and giving them lessons in elocution, etiquette and ethics with the winner becoming a member in the Gentleman's Club. These guys would make Tamra and Vicki poop their thongs off.

Mint Julep said...

I love Carla.
I hate LuAnn.

brianna said...

Didn't Debra just fire Rachel Zoe? I wonder if this "outfit" was the cause of the firing or the result of the firing.

Anonymous said...

I think Debra went rogue and probably ignored Rachel's advice for the outfit.

I do think Gretchen was lying a tad bit about the other guy, but so what? If she didn't pull an Anna Nicole and get Jeff to change his will to her benefit, she's not that bad a person. She was certainly the sweetest of the ladies on the show.

I think Andy dropped the ball on cross-examining Cro-Magnon Mama on her parenting skills. Forget the underage drinking--how about kicking the lazy whiny 18 year old who refuses to work or go to school out of the house instead of buying her a Beamer?

amber {daisy chain} said...

RHNYC: That countess..she's a piece of work - does she forget that the cameras are rolling? And what about Silex at the beach in the Hampton's?! Complaining about the rough waters, and then stripping down to a banana sling, covering up the sling because he forgot he was in the US, and dropping 8 grand on the most hideous man-shoes in history?? It was a fabulous episode, really it was.

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