Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Prep Yourself

1. For those new to the RHNYC scene: please see Gawker's guide to the housewives. It's kind of harsh (and I know harsh, babies) and inaccurate (e.g. Jill's husband is in the fabric business, not carpet), but it's still entertaining:

Wine-faced and tired looking, Bethenny makes healthy "gourmet" food for people and tries to fashion herself into some sort of Uptown wiseacre Martha Stewart. Honestly, Bethenny isn't all that bad. That is when she isn't crowing about her "SkinnyGirl Margaritas" (tequila and a lime spritz) or saying "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences. This season look for more crowing about SkinnyGirl Margaritas and saying of "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences.

I think this paragraph is going to cause Bethenny to drop another 10 pounds.

2. Those who watched last season can read Season 1's Reunion recap. You'll fall in love with Jill and Bethenny all over again, and your hatred of Ramoner, Alex and the Countess will be renewed with vigor.

3. SPEAKING OF THE COUNTESS, she took to her Bravo blog to write about her new etiquette book (yes, she's still going forward with it despite this and similar incidents) and she haughtily solicits any questions readers might have about manners.



I have a question! What do you do when the cover of your etiquette book almost shows your nipple? Get back to me on that, will you, LuAnn? This whole Class with the Countess business is ridiculous, and God bless those Bravo blog readers for calling that shit OUT in the comments:

I feel a gag coming up from my core. Is this why you exist? Emily Post is enough for me. I don't need a squirty "Countess" handing out advice on manners, of all things.
and
Does the counts previous 4 wives get to keep the "countess" title after a divorce?

Ha! "Squirty" is my new favorite word. If you want to see more razor-sharp zingers, believe me, there is no shortage--look here.


Enjoy the fireworks tonight, and meet me back here tomorrow!

25 comments:

Paloma {La Dolce Vita} said...

I can't wait!!! Begone tacky Orange Housewives. Bring on the social climbing and akwardness of speedo-loving Simon and the girls!

Misplaced Country Girl said...

I've missed Simon! I'm so excited for tonight. Bye-bye OC hello NYC!

Amanda said...

ohh can't wait for tonight. This season is going to get caddier than any other RH ever!!

Brittany said...

So I totally lied in my last comment on another blog. It's 56 minutes. I don't want to wait. :(

I'm kind of desperate. I can't believe I miss Alex and Simon this much. haha.


And I need me some Bethenny before I snap.

Tamstyles said...

I am watching the OC WIves now..please be sure to tip Vicki and Tamra new ones! They both pissed me off to the highest of pisstivity!

Petunia Face said...

Thanks to you I just spent the last 5 minutes staring at an enlarged photo of the Cuntess' book to see if I could spot the nipple. I could not. And that is not a typo.

J said...

I just finished watching RHOC. I can't WAIT until you post about it. Oh, and the scenes for next week? Swoon. I can't wait for your take on that.

I love your blog.

(And I taped RHNYC tonight, just bc you say you love it so much, I have to see it.)

Anonymous said...

Who the hell has an etiquette book with a lying-on-the-tummy pose?

♥ Chloe said...

Tamstyles- I agree. I'm also watching RHOC right now. What is wrong with Tamra and Viki?! Well, besides the obvious. Their insecurity is overwhelming.

Ugh. Ugggggggggggggggggggggggh.

hello gorgeous said...

I am with the Tamra and Vicki haters (Team Donn). I had to control myself from going to their Bravo blogs and letting them have it. They absolutely suck.

I cannot wait for the recaps.

Marge said...

Oh my gosh I have never been more excited to run home to my DVR... Gotta love the RHONY. Money doesn't buy you class ladies...

Brilliant Asylum said...

You are right about that Gawker post being way harsh. Avery is not a brat! (Although maybe she is in Season 2? I have not seen it yet. Tivo tonight!)

Chelly said...

Vicki and Tamra were beyond horrible last night. I love the clever Bravo editing. Vicki saying she refuses to give in to Gretchen wanting to be the center of attention and then the exact next frame is over her gushing to someone about the watch she just bought herself. Too freaking funny! she is sad. I hope she does not come back for another season.

NY housewives did not disappoint! I love those ladies!

tinkalicious said...

Whatzup with the Hampton's rental? (Alex and Simon's). It was plain gd disgraceful, and borderline disgusting. I would have for sure, asked for a refund, but then again, when you see their regular pad, where the wood floors are still under repair...since who knows when,
so perhaps they felt right at home!
Still, come on....I am still watching the rest of the Tivo's sode, so that was all I had to say for now!

sa said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛

Anonymous said...

lower body make over -
macro virus -
magic of making up -
make money taking surveys -
malware bot -
maternityacupressure -
maternity acupressure -
meet your sweet -
moles warts removal -
money siphon system -
muscle gaining secrets -
my airfare secrets -
my miracle loans -
my out of control teen -
natural cancer treatments -
ovarian cyst cures -
pc optimizer pro -
piano for all -
prevent sweating -
privacy control -
publicrecordspro -
public records pro -
pvp bible -
quick article pro -
quit smoking today -
reg defense -
reg genie -
registry easy -
registry genius -
registry smart -
registry winner -
registry winner download -
reg tool -
relationship headquarters -

Anonymous said...

reverse mobile -
richard mackenzie direct -
rocket japanese -
rotator cuff training -
satellite tv pc master -
secrets book -
spy no more -
spyware cease -
survey scout -
the bad breath report -
thedietsolutionprogram -
the diet solution program -
the guru assassin -
the power pause -
tmj help -
tonsil stones remedies -
turbulence training -
two minute profits -
vincedelmontefitness -
vince del monte fitness -
warp speed fat loss -
web traffic machines -
wedding speech 4u -
wind plans -
xp repair pro -
your fun business -
zygor guides -
500 love making tips -
acid alkaline diet -
acne no more -
advanced defrag -
anti spyware bot -
art of approaching -
banish tinnitus -

Anonymous said...

beat eczema -
blood pressure normalized -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
cpa arbitrage -
creative date ideas -
debt free in three -
digital background -
dirty talking guide -
discus fish secrets -
duplicate file cleaner -
dw insider -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy tv soft -
easy web video -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
end your tinnitus -
error doctor -
evidence smart -
fap winner -
fat burning furnace -
fat loss 4 idiots -
final sync -
final uninstaller -
firewall gold -
fitness model program -
fit over 40 -
fit yummy yummy -
flatten your abs -
forex auto pilot -

Anonymous said...

gain opinion -
gold secrets -
government records -
governmentregistry -
government registry -
green diy energy -
healthy urban kitchen -
highest pay surveys -
holo think -
homemadeenergy -
home made energy -
i want a teaching job -
joyful tomato -
keyword elite -
learn photoshop videos -
lmt forex formula -
lower body make over -
macro virus -
malware bot -
maternityacupressure -
maternity acupressure -
meet your sweet -
microcap millionaires -
moles warts removal -
money siphon system -
muscle gaining secrets -
my list strategy -
my phone riches -
natural cancer treatments -
online tv pc -
panic away -
pdf creator -
peel away ads -
pips leader -

Anonymous said...

ppc web spy -
prevent sweating -
privacy control -
publicrecordspro -
public records pro -
questions for couples -
quick article pro -
quick paid surveys -
quit smoking today -
reg defense -
registry winner -
reg tool -
reverse mobile -
richard mackenzie direct -
rocket german -
rotator cuff training -
rss feeds submit -
satellite pc box -
save the marriage -
spy no more -
spyware stop -
super seduction power -
surefire trading challenge -
tattoo me now -
the bad breath report -
thedietsolutionprogram -
the diet solution program -
the dog food conspiracy -
the mini site formula -
tmj help -
tonsil stones remedies -
truth about abs -
twitter trick -
vincedelmontefitness -

Anonymous said...

vince del monte fitness -
warp speed fat loss -
wedding speech 4u -
win clear -
xbox 360 red light fix -
xp repair pro -
500 love making tips -
acid alkaline diet -
advanced defrag -
alpha male system -
amazing cover letters -
anti spyware -
anti spyware bot -
article rewriter -
art of approaching -
auto cash system -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
bv cures -
calling men -
camera dollars -
carb rotation diet -
cash making power sites -
cb mall -
combat the fat -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
credit secrets bible -
destroy hemorrhoids -
dirty talking guide -
dotcom income secrets -
duplicate file cleaner -
dvd copy pro -
earth4energy -

Anonymous said...

earth 4 energy -
easy launcher -
easy system cleaner -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
eczema free forever -
end your tinnitus -
error nuker -
fatburningfurnace -
fat burning furnace -
fat loss 4 idiots -
final sync -
firewall gold -
fitness model program -
fit over 40 -
fit yummy yummy -
flattenyourabs -
flatten your abs -
forex candlesticks made easy -
forex killer -
forex megadroid -
get rid of your cellulite -
g money pro -
google shadow -
governmentregistry -
government registry -
gov resources -
health biz in a box -
homemadeenergy -
home made energy -
hybrid water power -
i software tv -
joyful tomato -
keyword spy pro -

Anonymous said...

kingdom of pets -
macro virus -
malware bot -
maternityacupressure -
maternity acupressure -
meet your sweet -
microcap millionaires -
moles warts removal -
mole wart removal -
muscle gaining secrets -
natural cure for yeast infection -
paid surveys etc -
panic away -
pdf creator -
public records pro -
quick article pro -
quick income blueprint -
quit smoking today -
ranking loophole -
reg clean -
reg defense -
regi cleanse -
registry easy -
registry genius -
registry winner -
reg sweep -
reg tool -
reverse mobile -
richard mackenzie direct -
rig worker -
rocket chinese -
rocket french -
rocket german -

Anonymous said...

rotator cuff training -
rss feeds submit -
save the marriage -
site builder elite -
six figure yearly 2009 -
sleep tracks -
sold in 21 days -
spyware stop -
stop being tired -
stop your hair loss -
the bad breath report -
thedietsolutionprogram -
the diet solution program -
tonsil stones remedies -
top secret magic code -
truth about abs -
turbulence training -
turn your photos into cash -
vincedelmontefitness -
vince del monte fitness -
warp speed fat loss -
wedding speech 4u -
win clear -
xbox 360 red light fix -
xp repair pro -
1st promotion -
3 redlight fix -
500 love making tips -
acid alkaline diet -
advanced defrag -
anti spyware -
anti spyware bot -
art of approaching -
banish rosacea -

Anonymous said...

blog lock down -
brad yates -
building a chicken coop -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
carb rotation diet -
combat the fat -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
copy n profit -
credit secrets bible -
cure angular cheilitis -
cure morning sickness -
dirty talking guide -
domain tweak system -
dotcom income secrets -
duplicate file cleaner -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy launcher -
easy system cleaner -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
eczema free forever -
email finder -
energy 2 green -
error nuker -
evidence smart -
fat burning furnace -
fat loss 4 idiots -
final sync -
fitness model program -
fit yummy yummy -
flattenyourabs -