Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Prep Yourself

1. For those new to the RHNYC scene: please see Gawker's guide to the housewives. It's kind of harsh (and I know harsh, babies) and inaccurate (e.g. Jill's husband is in the fabric business, not carpet), but it's still entertaining:

Wine-faced and tired looking, Bethenny makes healthy "gourmet" food for people and tries to fashion herself into some sort of Uptown wiseacre Martha Stewart. Honestly, Bethenny isn't all that bad. That is when she isn't crowing about her "SkinnyGirl Margaritas" (tequila and a lime spritz) or saying "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences. This season look for more crowing about SkinnyGirl Margaritas and saying of "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences.

I think this paragraph is going to cause Bethenny to drop another 10 pounds.

2. Those who watched last season can read Season 1's Reunion recap. You'll fall in love with Jill and Bethenny all over again, and your hatred of Ramoner, Alex and the Countess will be renewed with vigor.

3. SPEAKING OF THE COUNTESS, she took to her Bravo blog to write about her new etiquette book (yes, she's still going forward with it despite this and similar incidents) and she haughtily solicits any questions readers might have about manners.



I have a question! What do you do when the cover of your etiquette book almost shows your nipple? Get back to me on that, will you, LuAnn? This whole Class with the Countess business is ridiculous, and God bless those Bravo blog readers for calling that shit OUT in the comments:

I feel a gag coming up from my core. Is this why you exist? Emily Post is enough for me. I don't need a squirty "Countess" handing out advice on manners, of all things.
and
Does the counts previous 4 wives get to keep the "countess" title after a divorce?

Ha! "Squirty" is my new favorite word. If you want to see more razor-sharp zingers, believe me, there is no shortage--look here.


Enjoy the fireworks tonight, and meet me back here tomorrow!

17 comments:

Unknown said...

I can't wait!!! Begone tacky Orange Housewives. Bring on the social climbing and akwardness of speedo-loving Simon and the girls!

Miss to Mrs said...

I've missed Simon! I'm so excited for tonight. Bye-bye OC hello NYC!

Amanda said...

ohh can't wait for tonight. This season is going to get caddier than any other RH ever!!

Anonymous said...

So I totally lied in my last comment on another blog. It's 56 minutes. I don't want to wait. :(

I'm kind of desperate. I can't believe I miss Alex and Simon this much. haha.


And I need me some Bethenny before I snap.

###### said...

I am watching the OC WIves now..please be sure to tip Vicki and Tamra new ones! They both pissed me off to the highest of pisstivity!

Petunia Face said...

Thanks to you I just spent the last 5 minutes staring at an enlarged photo of the Cuntess' book to see if I could spot the nipple. I could not. And that is not a typo.

J said...

I just finished watching RHOC. I can't WAIT until you post about it. Oh, and the scenes for next week? Swoon. I can't wait for your take on that.

I love your blog.

(And I taped RHNYC tonight, just bc you say you love it so much, I have to see it.)

Anonymous said...

Who the hell has an etiquette book with a lying-on-the-tummy pose?

Chloe said...

Tamstyles- I agree. I'm also watching RHOC right now. What is wrong with Tamra and Viki?! Well, besides the obvious. Their insecurity is overwhelming.

Ugh. Ugggggggggggggggggggggggh.

hello gorgeous said...

I am with the Tamra and Vicki haters (Team Donn). I had to control myself from going to their Bravo blogs and letting them have it. They absolutely suck.

I cannot wait for the recaps.

it is everlasting said...

Oh my gosh I have never been more excited to run home to my DVR... Gotta love the RHONY. Money doesn't buy you class ladies...

Brilliant Asylum said...

You are right about that Gawker post being way harsh. Avery is not a brat! (Although maybe she is in Season 2? I have not seen it yet. Tivo tonight!)

SAJ said...

Vicki and Tamra were beyond horrible last night. I love the clever Bravo editing. Vicki saying she refuses to give in to Gretchen wanting to be the center of attention and then the exact next frame is over her gushing to someone about the watch she just bought herself. Too freaking funny! she is sad. I hope she does not come back for another season.

NY housewives did not disappoint! I love those ladies!

tinkalicious said...

Whatzup with the Hampton's rental? (Alex and Simon's). It was plain gd disgraceful, and borderline disgusting. I would have for sure, asked for a refund, but then again, when you see their regular pad, where the wood floors are still under repair...since who knows when,
so perhaps they felt right at home!
Still, come on....I am still watching the rest of the Tivo's sode, so that was all I had to say for now!

Anonymous said...

lower body make over -
macro virus -
magic of making up -
make money taking surveys -
malware bot -
maternityacupressure -
maternity acupressure -
meet your sweet -
moles warts removal -
money siphon system -
muscle gaining secrets -
my airfare secrets -
my miracle loans -
my out of control teen -
natural cancer treatments -
ovarian cyst cures -
pc optimizer pro -
piano for all -
prevent sweating -
privacy control -
publicrecordspro -
public records pro -
pvp bible -
quick article pro -
quit smoking today -
reg defense -
reg genie -
registry easy -
registry genius -
registry smart -
registry winner -
registry winner download -
reg tool -
relationship headquarters -

Anonymous said...

beat eczema -
blood pressure normalized -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
cpa arbitrage -
creative date ideas -
debt free in three -
digital background -
dirty talking guide -
discus fish secrets -
duplicate file cleaner -
dw insider -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy tv soft -
easy web video -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
end your tinnitus -
error doctor -
evidence smart -
fap winner -
fat burning furnace -
fat loss 4 idiots -
final sync -
final uninstaller -
firewall gold -
fitness model program -
fit over 40 -
fit yummy yummy -
flatten your abs -
forex auto pilot -

Anonymous said...

gain opinion -
gold secrets -
government records -
governmentregistry -
government registry -
green diy energy -
healthy urban kitchen -
highest pay surveys -
holo think -
homemadeenergy -
home made energy -
i want a teaching job -
joyful tomato -
keyword elite -
learn photoshop videos -
lmt forex formula -
lower body make over -
macro virus -
malware bot -
maternityacupressure -
maternity acupressure -
meet your sweet -
microcap millionaires -
moles warts removal -
money siphon system -
muscle gaining secrets -
my list strategy -
my phone riches -
natural cancer treatments -
online tv pc -
panic away -
pdf creator -
peel away ads -
pips leader -