Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Are you watching enough reality tv?
I'm worried that you're not. Getting ahead in the business world (and life in general) means being able to use cultural references and speak about them intelligently. You cannot do this without being well-versed in reality tv. For example, imagine having dinner with some important clients when the subject of restraining orders and Kristy Jo (Rock of Love 2) comes up. You'll need to understand and contribute to what is being said.* It could be the difference between a cubicle and a corner office, or as reality tv watchers would say, the difference between that idiot Kendra from The Girls Next Door and Tim Gunn on Project Runway.
Are you concerned that you didn't fully understand that last sentence? Don't worry. I have a short quiz that will determine whether you are deficient in your reality tv viewing.
REALITY STAR IDENTIFICATION QUIZ
1. Give yourself 1 point for identifying this woman by name, and 1 point if you think she is too cute to be with that dude who got her knocked up.
2. One point for this man's first name. Hint: he's a douche and he has an awful accent, yet I'd probably do him if I were single.
3. One point for first name, another point for last name. Hint: look for him to be on Celebrity Rehab 2. Just kidding, Jeffrey (oops! freebie for you), and I would totally wear your clothes if I could pull off the rocker chick look in the 'burbs.
4. For most of you, this will be an easy one. One point for her first name and one point (to be awarded in the future) if you can predict when her marriage will end. For the record, I hope it's not anytime soon. I'm rooting for you, girl!
5. One point for identifying this guy by name. Give yourself another point if you find him crazy attractive even though he's mean and unattainable (gay).
6. Give yourself one point for identifying him by name. Also give yourself a point if you at least said to yourself "Oh! I know him. He's that little person on that TLC show who was arrested for drunk driving and I can't wait to see how that shit went down!"
7. One point for her first and last name, another point if you can tell me whether her first name starts with a "K" or a "C." Hint: she's the mama of the massive badonkadonk.
8. Last one! One point if you know her (stage) name; minus one point if you have watched her show. I am not one to judge a person's tv watching, but really. You should not be watching this ode to Jerry Springer. It is beneath you.
Congratulations! You have completed your testing. Answers are as follows (don't cheat because you're only cheating yourself):
1. Kat Von D from LA Ink
2. CT from The Real World, Paris and countless Real World-Road Rules challenges.
3. Jeffrey Sebelia, Project Runway Season 3 villain and winner.
4. Lauri Waring from Real Housewives of Orange County.
5. Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out.
6. Matt Roloff from Little People Big World.
7. Kris (Kardashian) Jenner from Keeping Up with the Kardashians. With a "K," just like the rest of the women in her family.
8. Tila Tequila. A link is not necessary.
There are 13 possible points.
If you scored anywhere from 10 - 13, congratulations! Are you the CEO of your company yet? Your reality tv knowledge is excellent.
If your score was below 10, don't be discouraged; I can help! You could really benefit from my upcoming post "The Essential Guide to Reality TV Watching."
So? How well did you do?
* An appropriate thing to say in this situation would be "she looks normal but she is one crazy bitch! Why is Brett keeping her around?" You can say "bitch" if the setting is casual, but use your own judgment. Another option would be to say "bleep."