Good fun at Lucky's expense

Despite my long-standing (4 month) feud with Lucky magazine*, I occasionally visit its website to see if I'm missing anything. Every once in a while, something cute will catch my eye and I'll consider reconciling with Lucky. I had a moment like that when I saw Rachel Bilson on the cover of the most recent issue (love her!).

When will I ever learn? Just when I start to trust Lucky again, it does something stupid. Behold, Lucky's new "contest":

I know that I have consciously felt sorry for the poor fashion writer who has to describe similar-looking shoes in 52 different yet appealing ways. Apparently Lucky feels badly for that person too, so they want us to do the work with only a slim chance of meager compensation, lots of limits on the words you can use, and no health insurance. The nerve! Check out the rules:

I swear that every single issue of Lucky that I've ever seen has included all of those banned words and phrases, am I right? Also, these are the only two rules. There's no info about when it's due or whether the "winner" will get credit for her captions. I love all of this vagueness! Lucky is such a great boss!

Lucky has balls. Big balls, my friends and it deserves to be knocked down a notch. Here's my plan: no one on the earth enters the contest except for me, and then Lucky will be forced to accept my captions or make its own gd employee do her own gd work. It's brilliant, isn't it?

This is a sample of what I will be submitting (click to enlarge):


Peep-toe slingbacks:


Satin platforms:


You know, that was actually very fun (apologies to the innocent shoes). Forget my plan, all of us should make up ridiculous captions and submit them. Then Lucky will pay a real employee to read our entertaining yet useless entries.

Lucky, thank you for this opportunity to make fun of you yet again. No hard feelings, huh? It's all in whimsical blingy adorable really cool fun.


*Lucky's transgressions are as follows:
1. Treats subscribers as if they've had lobotomies
2. Is cruel to its own staff (who incidentally have no clue)
3. Had Nicole Richie on its cover at her skinniest
4. Encourages readers to look like hookers