Saturday, February 23, 2008

Impending Doom

My family and I were at Chuck E Cheese today for my niece's birthday. As a result, posting will be light in about 2 days when we are all ill and wishing for death.

I'd like to go ahead and confirm that my experience at Chuck E Cheese sucked for the following reasons:

1) Cheri's ex had the kids this weekend and they were all there with his new girlfriend.

FYI, the ex was really pissed that Chuck had it's liquor license suspended. Are you wondering "how on earth does Chuck E Cheese get its liquor license suspended?" Me too, but I wasn't about to ask the surly teenage employees.

2) Noise, germs, bad food, and moms with visible boob tattoos. Boob tattoos are so ill-advised, don't you think? Especially the mini-tiger claw variety. Can't wait to see them at age 65.

3) My brother-in-law's friend was there with his fiance, and I called her by the old girlfriend's name. I realized it as it was coming out of my mouth. That was pretty awesome. It was witnessed by many people who suddenly pretended be busy handing out tokens and such. I spent the rest of the time trying to keep her in earshot while I referred to her by her correct name. Cool.

Did I tell you that my 6 year old put a token in his mouth? So yeah. We're going down.

Enjoy your weekend, and don't you dare get a boob tattoo without talking to me first.

EDIT: My disclaimer--Denver has suburban Chuck E Cheeses and "urban" Chuck E Cheeses. We went to an urban one yesterday, which was decidedly more violent, grungy and unpleasant than suburban ones. The moral of the story is, not all Chuck E Cheeses are this bad. None are completely fantastic and you can be sure that they all have strains of the plague on the skeeball balls, but there's definitely a spectrum of awfulness.


S. said...

You are completely awesomely hilarious!

Hannah said...

I can believe you braved a chuck e. cheese during flu season. Or ever for that matter. I'm going to get Secretary of Defense Gates on the phone and see what we can't do about getting you a purple heart or something.

Anonymous said...

You write better than almost any novelist writing today. Honest.

SGM said...

Dear S. and Anon, your checks are in the mail.
Hannah, I wasn't going to mention my valor, but thank you for noticing. Here's something else you can pass on to Gates: attending this party made me miss watching my college's Saturday bball game. They lost, to a really crappy team. I hold myself responsible.

elaine said...

Dearest SGM,

Have I told you that I love you lately? Well, if not, it's true. I do. Thanks for spreading the word of Cheri everywhere. You bring me a lot of joy. We will be friends forever - I know it!

PS - I am so not looking forward to things like Chucky Cheese, Disneyland, Children's movies, etc -- you know all that stuff you have to do in order to be a decent mommy. Hopefully I have a year or two left.



karey m. said...

some well-deserved compliments for you on mackin ink. enjoy!