Monday, March 2, 2009

I ain't right in the head

This last season of Real Housewives of OC has left me feeling particularly dirty and depleted. Instead of laughing at the antics of these people and secretly loving them, I find myself foaming at the mouth and plotting their collective demise. I can't even put a Bravo-related sentence together without fantasizing about Vicki losing her business as the result of a tragic laptop fire and being forced to work as Lynne's assistant at Cuff Love.

The Countess isn't helping matters. I feel as though I need to start wearing a straightjacket during her scenes so I don't punch the tv and then try to hurl myself out of a window.

See? I have lost all perspective, and I need to take some time off to mentally recharge. I'll be back next week, ready to rock. Until then, I leave you with something that still makes me smile: the delicate beauty of Pam Anderson.


Can't you picture the owner of that chair saying "WAIT! Let me put down some towels first!" Cracks me up.

25 comments:

Scandalous Housewife said...

What about Tamra? Damn, she is one angry, mean piece of trailer park work. She's not the mean girl from high school, she's the mean, trashy hood girl that wore too much black eyeliner, smoked behind the school in the 'pit' and would cut you if you crossed her. I hope the rest of those girls get some back bone (& self respect!) and avoid her ass. That reunion was getting into 'Rock of Love' territory! Not that I have ever watched that...

Room Service ~ Decorating 101 said...

Loved this post, vicki drives me insane, but the sad part is ...she reminds me of my youngest daughter...I would add lol, but it's not funny!

Lolo said...

There's a fair amount of distance between the mockworthiness of Pamela Anderson and the hatefulness of the HoBag franchise. I've retreated to the relative gentleness of snickering at Jessica Simpson and waiting for the stench of dogshit to dissipate from the rancid skankery of the OC women.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your blogging vacation, SGM! You work hard to entertain us and deserve a break (but not a long one!).

I have a secret fantasy that you are actually interviewing at Bravo this week and that is why you arent here and you are going to come back next week and tell us that you got the job and then we will have unlimited insider information!

♥ Chloe said...

Hahahahaha! Awesome.

zakary said...

Well, I think I found my outfit for my next high school reunion.

Anonymous said...

Miss Anderson looks like she is getting ready for an at-home biopsy.

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine the "snail trail" that she will leave on that chair?

Jilly in Idaho said...

PA definitely looks past her 'sell by date'. A little rancid looking I'd say.

I have a friend who's a nurse and she said they can always tell who has implants - they're the ones with the boobs sticking straight up in the hospital beds.

The Lil Bee said...

Delicate beauty. I freakin' love you!!!

jen said...

I KNOW! It was getting to me so much that I was relying on your recaps rather than watching the show myself Much more calming, much funnier (thank you).

That being said, I'm COUNTING ON YOU to keep going. What will I do if you don't keep me connected to the world of reality? My own reality is fine. It's a good life. It's mundane. I NEED those shows to make me feel appreciate the nice-but-predictable life I have.

I'm counting on you.

Brilliant Asylum said...

Pammy does not want to put her clothes back on. I think we are going to see her naked glory well into her 80's. Of course, I have no problem with this.

We will anxiously await your musings on the most recet RHNY. The Hamptons is a nice change of pace from the other two trashtastic locales (even if the Countess has to POINT in people's faces while shares etiquette tips).

arollerskatingjam said...

She's no Bettie Page, I tell you.

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