Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I just can't quit you foxy bitches!*


We need to discuss business.

1. RHNYC: The Countess' tricked-out laundry room; Bethenny admitting that she is Calista Flockhart-esque; the Countess' teen manners luncheon; Simon's hairy nipples and legs (sorry--I know it's right after lunch); Ramoner's pissing match with Gov. Patterson; Kelly Bensimon in general. Discuss.

2. I am excited to be blogging as part of this rad new network called Twolia. Would you please come visit me and comment so I don't feel like a total idiot? In my first post, I talk about how someone needs to slap The Bachelor with a rose and then make him eat the petals. What a fucktard.



*Holla to Kelly Bensimon for bringing "foxy" back into my life.

35 comments:

Tamstyles said...

OK did you notice the Countess getting upset yesterday. I was in awww, like..YOU? Then when her maid/nanny came home she was ready to get her right back to work baby quick! but it seems the kids really love her (rosanna) which was touching. and ramoner...oh man..she cracks my a$$ up! But I could dig the boarding school convo...she was telling her some pretty good ish...my aunt sends my cousin and I just dont get it. the child hates it...but my aunt does it more or so for freedom.

Lucinda said...

1. That laundry room was my version of heaven. The Countess should try doing some laundry sometime, it is rather relaxing.
2. Horses hate RHONYC and their children.
3. Ramoner has definitely upped her meds.
4. I miss Gloria, please bring her back.

More importantly, I have been made aware of two things recently:
1. Countess Von Asshole was drinking from a Red Stripe bottle last season when she went out with her neice downtown.
2. Simon's head is unusually large in size, my blog reveals more.

Scandalous Housewife said...

I have NEVER been more grossed out than looking at Simon's icky, lanky, hairy body. And did you notice he was naked and was so trying to "accidentally" drop towel. Holy Jesus, it's almost more than I can take. Any ideas for my boat naming contest?
xoxo,
Scandy

arollerskatingjam said...

Between SGM and Lucinda, it's all covered. Thanks ladies, for the lowdown, dirty truths. I need to take a shower PDQ, fuck the drought!

hello gorgeous said...

Well, I forgot to DVR it so I didn't see the entire thing.

The Countess is out of control with the etiquette. Will someone pls. tell her that etiquette has quite a lot to do with not making people feel like shit by correcting them and laughing at their mistakes (elbows on tables!! cutting all your chicken ahead of time like you're a 2-y/o *insert eye roll*). Miss Manners would bitchslap her so fast you'd never even see it.

That's all I got.

Oh, except for Slimex. Just ewwww. And, yes, Scandalous HW, he was trying to drop trou. Ewwww II.

preppyplayer said...

But... I really like Jill. Is it cuz the others are so bad?
I could hang out with Bethenny and Rosanna too.
I feel as though Ramona has been trying to do damage control from last season, but her true colors always show through. Kelly is a hottie in a regal way but a bit
vacuous if you ask me...

Anonymous said...

rosie, do you have jet lag? you must be exhausted. let me go ahead and give you my laundry orders so you can get right down to business. okay, i'm going to go play tennis now.

CLASSY.

Anonymous said...

I have just been watching Ramona selling her jewelry line on HSN! Her eyes looked like she put in contacts which are way too big so she doesn't blink. And Colleen, the show's hostess didn't have a clue about "The Real Housewives" show!! (Wouldn't you think they would have had some sort of pre-show chat--done some preliminary homework!!!--get to know ya!) She admitted that she had "never seen the show"! Oh, Oh, Ramona's "Showstopper" piece of jewelry...the hot pick, deal-of-the-day thingy was called..."The Countess Ring"!!! No bracelets named after "Silex", maybe in the next line!!!
When the show finished, Colleen (the unenlightened, clueless hostess) said "Oh, this was fun, you're so sweet!" This was awkward TV at its finest!

Anonymous said...

Ramona BUGS! Like in BUG EYES!!!!!!!!!!!! The things she comes up with are unbelievable. I want to hang out with Bethany - we could be friends. Use to like the Countess until she corrected Bethany for not using her title last season -- and now with her manners PLEASE! If you kids don't have manners by their teenage years...you obviously didn't teach them to begin with. Simon - oh ah that would be hairy gross Simon -- trade the massage for some grooming....! I love Jill - it's Jill right? maybe my martini is causing memory loss - she reminds me of my jewish friend from Jersey and love her -- I love how Bethany and she go back and forth. The new model horserider girl is nice but can be uppity - that would be a made up word by MWAH!

Maria said...

The part when fancy pants said: I can feel the heeeeeat, I can feel the heeeeat, was probably the creepiest thing I'd seen in a long time.

matt said...

first off - i hate ramoner more than anyone on tv. she has no filter and is so spiteful. although i agree with her that simon and frankenstein are vapid, they do not strike me as cruel. yes my frankenstein comment was also cruel, but i'm not on national tv so i'll proceed with it noted that i'm a hypocrite. also simon and frankenstein seem impervious to criticism. i'm thinking the count and countess may both be alcoholics. i'm glad the kids have rosie to rely on - and the horse and atv. i think rosie had plastic surgery back in the philippines. i used to work with someone who went back there to visit family for a few weeks. he came back and his face was tighter than ever. he eventually admitted the plastic surgery there was very cheap. i think the new chick seems desperate for love and is a close runner up with the countess in the insincerity department. i just want to hold bethany. and then maybe yell at her. and then hold her again. her relationship with jill (and most others) seems very co-dependent, but i appreciate that because it at least seems like some sort of real connection is being made. jill would be my favorite. of course, this could all change next week - except for the ramona part - i really do hate her.

Jennifer said...

The "spa session" w/ Simon and wife was about the grossest thing I've seen--his freckled, hairy body and the Saran wrap and dirty towels....OMG I feel sick just thinking about it. What about that repulsive "tickle" maneuver by the pool? Ewwww!

And The Countess is out of control. I thought that poor girl at the "manners luncheon" was going to start crying in her soup. Guess what Countess? Bringing your daughter's friends to a lunch and asking them if they have any etiquette questions and then making fun of their question is BAD MANNERS. What a jerk!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice at the end of the show when the Countess and Kelly are off to the side and the text at the bottom of the screen is saying that she says "I'll kill him" and "Lucky bitch"? Is the count having an affair? And Kelly, who's usually so aloof is holding the Countess' hand. Why would Countess Manners lose it that way and as far as him not being there, he usually isn't at any events. It would seem fitting because usually rich French men and aristocrats have mistresses, sometimes it goes along with the marriage. I mean the man has been married four times! I don't know, seems fishy to me.

tinkalicious said...

OMG, what a whole s-load of cringe making crapola! Where should I start? Well, let's just go to the absolute worst moment possible, witness Ramoaner and her trying to one up a freakin' blind man! I thought I was gonna die of embarassment for her! Then, well, you pick one, any one...Unclean comes to mind!

Anonymous said...

I think the countess said "lucky bitch" in reference to Kelly's divorce from Gilles and being free and single. Ya know the countess loves the title, money and lifestyle but is not truly happy...

Jessie said...

Oh my gosh, there was SO much going on in this episode that I had to watch it twice! (Please don't tell anyone.)

Was I the only one bouncing up and down in my seat in anticipation during the scenes from next week?!

Also, Anon 8:28 - I think you may have something there. The mistress theory would not surprise me in the slightest!

rachie! said...

Did you really HAVE to put the ankie Simon pic on here? There should be warnings for those of us with sensitive tummys.

tanya said...

agreed. that old dude's definitely having an affair. can't wait to see next week's episode--that preview clip about Ramoner's eyes buggin' out of her head totally wet my appetite.

Amanda said...

Congrats on the blog going big time! I miss you and need to chat with you! Call me!

Laura [What I Like] said...

Such a good call on the mistress! Totally agree now that I think about it.

Anonymous said...

If he IS having an affair...does that make her COUNT-LESS LUANN?

sarah said...

Anyone know where U can watch online?
I'm having trouble tracking down full episodes and I don't have tv while I'm away at school :(

MiSS MATERiAL GiRL said...

Sarah, hope this helps:

http://www.fancast.com/tv/The-Real-Housewives-of-New-York-City/98644/main

I believe it has all the episodes.

Cynthia said...

Sarah, you can also watch at www.hulu.com, but sometimes they don't have all the episodes.

Breakfast for Dinner said...

omg, I am totally dying watching the show right now! I just witnessed the Countess v. Ramona Fight: Round 17. I felt so awkward for them that I had to turn away from the tv! Does anybody want to just jump in and give them some news?....You're BOTH awful!!! And Countess, if "class" means stuck up snotty judgmental bitch with a superiority complex, then yes, you have LOTS of class. ha!

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