Thursday, March 6, 2008

Can You Handle It?

Yet another gd post about a Bravo reality show (and also this photo of MK and VB chumming it up--love it)? This one is about Christian's win on Project Runway, and how terribly annoying my husband was during the final episode. My husband deserves a name, don't you think? Let's call him The Jock for now.

Scene 1: Christian's show

SGM: Ooooooh! Ooooooooooh!

The Jock: Please. You would not wear that in a million years. That's crap. I could do better. Get me a sewing machine!

SGM: Ooooooh, I love the hats.

The Jock: You just want him to win because you like his personality. If you didn't know whose clothes these were, you would hate them. Is Rami gay? If you were a lesbian, would you do Posh? Would you do Heidi?

SGM: So much black, but I like it!

The Jock: Seriously, would you do Posh? Why are there so many feathers? Everything has FEATHERS! No one wears feathers in real life! This is such bullshit! Blah blah blah....

Scene 2: Christian is announced as the winner

The Jock: Blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah FEATHERS!

SGM: Would you please be quiet for 5 seconds so I can hear?

The Jock: BLAH! Blah blah blah [for the next five minutes].

I didn't hear any of the exchange between Christian and Victoria Beckham, and I really didn't get to experience any of the pleasure of Christian winning because of the constant yammering in my ear. Good for you, Christian! I really did like your collection best, even if I wouldn't wear an ombre feather gown in real life. Did anyone else feel like VB was struggling to find descriptive words during the critique part? I remembered that she has never read a book in her life and I kind felt sorry for her with her canned little phrases.

One more thing--everyone was raving about Rami's woven pieces:

but they reminded me too much of this

and that made me feel

My undying gratitude to Petunia Face for this lovely photo


Anonymous said...

I just love how we can use that "smelling a stinky fart, oh-no, wait, it's just the stench of the suburbs" photo of Alex so many different ways. Maybe we should make it a blog meme?

Rebecca said...

Since it's rude to be a mute blog stalker, I should just say, "Hi," and thanks for entertaining my &%^ off for the past few weeks. I watch so little tv, but you totally got me to tivo the New York gals: I knew reading your post-show commentary would make it worth laboring through their escapades.

Q.S. said...

Christian winning was great, but uber-predictable, no? I hope Posh steals the face eating sweater of his, and we see it in US weekly in a week. It will become all the rage, and Bebe will come out with a copy in a month... Love your blog!

The Nerdy Fashionista said...

aaaah goooood, I'm spoiled now! Argh. Hadn't gotten a chance to watch PR yet. Oh well. Maybe I'll toddle on over to Project Rungay to see what the queens have to say about it... they were having spasms of delight over his fierce and arrogant intro video before the season started, but I never really checked back to see whether he became a genuine crowd favorite, a mascot, or an object of derision. Though come to think of it, those three things are not mutually exclusive.

The Nerdy Fashionista said...

Also, because I spazzed out over the spoil (whoops), I posted before I had read the whole entry. You are hilarious. :)

Richie Designs said...

I think your husband is missing a chunk of his brain and it's been transplanted in my boyfriend.

He's not allowed to speak during PR. He goes down and surfs the web while I clap and applaud the gayness and the fierceness.

muranogirl said...

Love. love, love your blog!
I am sooo happy Christian won! He is an amazing designer. Love the ombre ruffle dress and the use of feathers. Posh was drooling. Surprised they didn't have to harness her to her chair to keep her from ripping the garments off the models.
Given his aesthetic, and tendency toward the dramatic, I would love to see him work for YSL, Lanvin, Mc Queen or another house in order to really learn the business. It is a business after all. Having worked in the industry, 100k goes just about nowhere and I would hate to see him start a line and have to shelve it for the lack of financing. He can learn on someone else's dime then break away. His future is bright!

SGM said...

PF, I have a feeling that there will be many stinky fart faces from Alex this season. I hope to make a montage, don't hold your breath because I am a re-tahd on the computer.
Rebecca, thanks for commenting! It's people like you who keep me writing about this show even though it's sucking my soul. :)
Thanks, qs, and yes--predictable.
NF, I am so sorry! You probably thought this was a safe site since I never write about PR. I hope you watched it anyway.
Richie--I need to buy him some Madden game to lure him away from the tv. Thanks for the idea!
Murano girl--I think that Christian did work for McQueen already, and also Vivienne Westwood. Don't you think he would be a good investment for Posh?!

zakary said...

My ex husband bought me that purse in black when we lived in Santa Barbara 8 years ago. I'm not saying that's why we divorced, but it is an ugly ass purse.

Pigtown-Design said...

Is that Posh smiling??? She actually almost looks human!

muranogirl said...

"Christian" on SNL:
Did anyone catch this??

SGM said...

murano girl--that was hilarious! Dead ringer for Christian!

Joanna Goddard said...

this made me laugh out loud. you guys are awesome!

muranogirl said...

for whatever reason when "Christian" calls Tim Gunn "Silver-Tranny-Ferocia" I just lose it!