Thursday, July 3, 2008

Things that disturb my Chi*

1. I've been seeing ads for this pendant by Na Hoku everywhere and it makes my blood pressure soar.

You know who wears these? Your (or maybe even my) overly-tanned neighbor with big fluffy hair who goes to Hawaii every year and refers to it in every conversation. Flip-flops are comfortable--yes. So are sweatpants. That does not mean that they should be gold-plated and bedazzled and hung around the neck as jewelry. I know, I know, it's the Hawaiian "mentality," but leave it in Hawaii. Do not buy it at your land-locked suburban mall and wear it year-round. Please.

2. The family stickers for the car:

It's kind of a friend deal-breaker for me. A harsh yet effective tool for weeding out MILKs.

3. You know how itunes has recommendations for you based upon previous purchases? Well. itunes recommended The Doobie Brothers to me. What the FUCK?! What on earth have I downloaded that would lead anyone to believe that I would like the fucking Doobie Brothers? I actually can't think of a band that I hate more. I'd rather listen to Rico Suave 400 times in a row rather than listen to one fucking second of Michael McDonald singing Takin' it to the Streets. itunes, I am totally offended. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.

4. I was being pretty negative in 1-3 and that also disturbs my Chi. So, let's talk about the 4th of July! It's one of my favorite holidays, mostly because we spend it in my hometown in Kansas. Swimming, bike parades, fried chicken, lightening bugs, seeing old friends, watching fireworks in the backyard . . . it's lovely. Have a fantastic 4th of July!

NOTE: One more--when Blogger BLATANTLY disregards my formatting. Jesus! Hopefully it's fixed by the time you read this.

*Yes, I am quoting Lauri Waring Peterson and if you have a problem with it, write your Congressman.


Jennifer said...

Aaaaah, Gerardo, the predecessor to Mario Lopez. Thanks for the memories.

fashiongirl said...

You think iTunes bitch slapped you, you should see what comes up on my NetFlix recommendations. "The Notebook", uh NO!

Enjoy the holiday weekend and the fried chicken. You're making my mouth water just by suggesting it!

Megan said...

Oh, the fucking family stickers. They were created by the devil. I get some sort of perverse glee when they are applied crookedly...

lady jicky said...

I was out shopping today and saw a thong (that is what we call them here in Australia ) - flip flop picture frame!!!!!
I guess one puts those sunny photos of lizard skin and fluffy dyed hair women on holidays in Hawaii or in my neck of the woods - Surfers Paradise - in it! Yuk.

Amanda said...

Dang, I was hoping to get you to buy one of those 1/2 and 1/2 flip flop sets (in 14K gold of course) that says BFF so you and I could wear them around our necks

Sneaky Chic said...

You are so effing hilarious.

I love you. Really.

zakary said...

I cracked myself up thinking about wearing a gold sweatpants charm!

Sarah's Fab Day said...

Have you seen the flip-flop family stickers on cars? Gag, totally a double whammy!

karey m. said...

eight days until i see all this in PERSON! for four full weeks!

am i excited? or scared.

the latter. xoxo.

The Lil Bee said...

You kill me! And the funny thing is, you just know that the chick who buys the bedazzled flip-flop necklace is the same chick who's got pink velour sweatpants with the word "Juicy" stitched across her cheeks. She wears her gold and diamond jewelry with everything—even sweats—and so this is the PERFECT accessory for her!

Fifi Flowers said...

HILARIOUS! You gave me a good laugh and the comments are great!

rinse*repeat said...

JUST observing the obnoxious family stickers this afternoon prior to reading this.

Its like, great. You have 2 children and a dog. Here's an effing medal.

Richie Designs said...

oh gawd the stickers.

with all the weird ass crap I buy on Amazon for work you should see what they recommend!

I *Heart* You said...

everything about this post is magic. i love it. i also loathe people who have return address labels with the little pics of the whole family on them. i mean, if i'm getting mail from you i most likely know your family roster. if i am getting mail from you and i don't, i probably don't care.

I am Trish Marie said...

My favorite is when the move beyond the traditional family stickers and have cutesy things like their whole family in flowers or bugs. As if the family portrayed by stick people wasn't enough.

Jessie said...

You were in Kansas?! We were SO close yet SO far... I'm sure if I would have been home, I would have been able to feel your presence!

Lyndsy said...

The family stickers for the car are my biggest pet peeve. Especially when they have the names labeled below. Your blog has me laughing out loud at work right now. Thank you for that!

Teal Chic said...

Omg girl I love your blog. So a bit of info, I hate Michael McDonald with a passion too. My dad ditched country music and started listening to Michael McDonald when he started cheating on my mom. I never let that little tidbit of information out on my blog, but felt it was necessary and rather amusing when I read your commentary on this douchebag!

Once again your blog is great. I'm adding it to my blogroll. Have a wonderful week!

Bridget said...

I was on my way to becoming a huge fan until the Doobie Brothers comment. Hey, I hate Michael McDonald too but the Doobies early works are some of the greatest 70's music. Yes, I'm 50 and they were from my era but you should give them a fair shake. Does that make me a MILK?

SGM said...

No, Bridget! It's a personal issue. I also have an irrational hate of Ann Taylor. I'm just weird.

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