Monday, July 21, 2008

No, no--it's all for the best

Apparently Bravo has selected its newest cast member for next season's Real Housewives of NYC. It's not me. I had to find this out through the popular media, which I thought was unfortunate (not to mention RUDE), but I have to say I'm totally relieved--I was going to withdraw my name anyway. As you know, I am a self-taught life coach and my practice is just starting to take off. Helping celebrities, especially reality stars, navigate the rough waters of life in "the biz" is not only my passion but my duty, and I need to devote all of my energy to that right now. I also have the Kanye class that I (hopefully) will be teaching at Harvard next month. Seriously, I won't even have time to brush my teeth this fall. There's no way I could manage a reality show as well.

(Does anyone else think that Jill might have felt threatened by me? I think she might have blackballed me. But it's FINE. Totally fine.)

Please join me in welcoming socialite Kelly Bensimon to the cast.

Congratulations, Kelly! You look really . . . intelligent, and even if this show can't satisfy your obvious deep-seated need for attention and fame, I'm sure you'll have fun hanging out with Ramoner.

Can't wait!

p.s. Jo and Slade's show debuts tonight on Bravo. Let's see how many of you have the balls to watch it!

11 comments:

Richie Designs said...

glad to see she won't be an attention whore like so many of the other girls.

Oh the countess might be a little jellie on this one. Someone as hot [hotter] as she is in the group.

excited for the cat fights.

CANNOT WATCH THE TRAIN WRECK JO & SLADE they make me throw up.

mamacita said...

It's bad enough that she stole your gig, but stealing your fur bikini? Now that's just wrong.

Prima Donna Momma said...

I'm so glued to the tv watching Jo & Slades show tonight. You know that show is disaster waiting to happen.

http://coutureliving.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Number one, is that a pasta necklace her kid made for her in kindergarten? I guess colored pasta goes with the fur bikini. Number two, she is interested in whatever PEEKS her interest (see your link)? She is a writer/columnist and doesn't know that the word is piques? But wait, what she does know for sure that she is a Taurus! I am so relieved Bravo finally hired a real intellectual to round out the cast. Love your blog SGM!

SGM said...

I know, when I saw "peeks," I knew we had a winner!

rachie! said...

Wow, where exactly do you wear a fur bikini?

Megan said...

Isn't wearing a fur bikini and a fur coat at the same time kinda a faux pas?

They're gonna tear her up, she could be the new Alex.

Brittany said...

She's married to gilles Bensimon! Of ANTM!!! Hahahaha. Should be fun....

s. said...

She & Elle MacPherson both divorced the same man, so she must be cool!

The Lil Bee said...

Do you read her column in Page Six. A few months ago it went something like this:

"After reading about Angelina's trips to Africa all the time, I really wanted to go there and see all the turmoil. IT'S SO TRENDY. But then I missed my flight! So I went to Vegas for a diamond convention with Russell Simmons."

Google it online. It's completely vomit-inducing.

Brittany said...

Oh man, I hope she tears Alex a new one.

PLEASE tell me that all of my original girls are still there?!?!