"You'd be surprised about how emotionally involved I am"

That's Jeff, explaining to Ryan that he really is concerned about Jenni. Me too. Here's Part II of your Flipping Out recap:

1. Jenni is shown limping around due to her ROOF TACK injury. I swear to God, a mellowed out version of Foxy Lady was playing in the background; can someone back me up on this? The Bravo employee who did this should either get a raise (for the humor) or get fired (for Kenny G-ing that song), I'm not sure which.

Jenni's bad luck continues at Lorie's Encino house when she gives a blank check to a contractor. Jeff reacts with an emphatic "FUCK." Twice, y'all! Yes. They bleeped it out, but still--I like it when he talks dirty. Very much. Mmmmm. Where was I? Oh yes. No harm is done, but he harangues her about the details of it for what appears to be for-fucking-ever. Jeff tells the camera that Jenni keeps screwing up at work, and that it's so unlike her. He sympathizes with her situation but says he can't give her paid vacation--"we don't do that at Jeff Lewis' office"--but that she could use some time off.

2. Ryan and Jeff have lunch.

Ryan tries to counsel Jeff on being sensitive to Jenni's needs, and Jeff responds with 'tude and eye rolling worthy of a 16 year old. Ryan, although Jeff is not the guru of compassion and warm fuzzies, I can vouch that he is really stepping up his game for Jenni. He expresses his affection and concern for her many times in this episode.

Having said that, did anyone else feel awkward when Jeff reveals to the camera that "not many people know this BUT" Chris Elwood, out of the blue, asked for a divorce four years ago (foreshadowing). Yikes! Jeff, why did it feel like you were betraying a confidence here? Were you? Feel free to tell me more secrets about Jenni's personal life via email.

Jenni, my darling, I will join the chorus in telling you that you are better off without him. He was bringing you DOWN, sister. Sucking your energy! Has Ryan saged you yet? Get on it.

Jeff then demonstrates his total devotion to Jenni by saying "I will stick by her, even if it takes six months [for her to get back to not fucking up on the j-o-b]." His therapy is really working, isn't it? But Jenni, I hope you have your shit together by month seven.

3. Time for Vally Oak to be staged! May I present to you, His Royal Hottness:

For full effect, please listen to this song while looking at this image.

I know so many of you have issues with Jeff's hair and lips, but did you see this scene? The sunglasses? HOTT. Like, 140 degrees. 150, even!

So as the furniture is being moved in and placed, Jeff's OCD kicks into high gear with his "3 inches that way, no, .0568 inches the other way, no, half a spider's leg that way . . . ." I had to smile when Jeff says "I don't think people are as concerned or committed to lining things up." Oh Jesus! Do you know what I'm committed to? Sneaking into his house and moving everything one quarter of an inch and watching his head explode.

The One and Only Chris talks about how amazing it is to watch Jeff work: Jeff puts the furniture one way, considers it, moves it and then moves it again until it's perfectly balanced. By the way, Chris sparkles and I'm not just saying that because I'm hoping to be his life coach. It's the truth.

4. Jeff departs Valley Oak after endless tiny adjustments. Then Ryan comes in with his whole team and MOVES IT ALL AROUND! My heart almost stopped when I thought of Jeff's wrath. Ryan explained that Jeff basically does the same set-up in every house and that it's a bit too modern and predictable. Ryan, who owns a design firm, was there to mix and warm things up. I love it when people defy Jeff. It scares the bejeezus out of me, but I do love it. God bless you, Ryan.

5. Jeff shows up at Valley Oak as Ryan is finishing up. He's certainly annoyed, but he does not lose it. He just wishes that Ryan would have given him a phone call or a text--yeah, so that Jeff could have responded "NO WAY! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH A THING OR I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!" Jeff ends up admitting that he liked most of Ryan's changes. I'm so proud of you, Jeff.

6. Chris is at Lorie's Encino house assisting Jeff. Jeff loves that Chris is not a fuck-up and is actually interested in project management and design. I'd like to point out that Chris uses Dulux brand paint when he's painting the swatches on the walls. I KNEW IT! My painter gave me a funny look when I insisted upon running halfway across town for Dulux, but's the best, bitches.

7. Jaw-dropper (but not really if you had been paying attention): Jenni reports that she didn't dump Chris Elwood, CHRIS ELWOOD DUMPED HER! What. The. Fuck. Jenni reports that he decided he didn't want to be married anymore. How original! "Rejection isn't easy," she sighs. I'll say. Especially when you're rejected by a ding-dong who wears an ironic headband to work.

Did he wear that headband during sex, Jenni? Don't answer--I'll just ask Jeff.

I'd like to come out in support of Chris Elwood on one thing, though. The dogs were not fighting. They were playing, just as he said.

8. Jeff again pledges his friendship and support to Jenni. He admires her for showing up to work each day and putting on a brave face. THEN, he says something that is soooo classic Jeff: "I think she just wants a hug, but God knows I'm uncomfortable with that." !!! Jeff, you'd better hope you never run into me because I will ambush you with an extra-long, tight HUG complete with closed eyes and nuzzling and maybe even moaning. You too, Jenni, but I won't make it so weird and uncomfortable for you.

Jeff says that his friendship with Chris Elwood is OVER, but that if Chris and Jenni reconcile, he will support her--"that's how much I love Jenni." Aw! Who is this kind man? (FYI, Jenni, I will not support reconciliation).

That's the end of the show!


BONUS ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION: JEFF'S HAIR AND LIPS

Okay, I am pretty oblivious when it comes to fake hair and plastic surgery (with the exception of boobs). It has to be really obvious, like this:

or this:

for me to be convinced that a hair specialist or doctor has intervened. If Jeff has a rug or artificially plump lips, I think it's all well done. He looks GOOD. HOTT, remember? I know some of you disagree. Personally, I think we should be concentrating our efforts on Ryan and persuading him to wear his hair shorter.

All sides please weigh in, and if you think any looks have been tampered with, please support your claim.

Have a fab weekend, you sexy mofos!

p.s. If you want a super-sharp recap of Project Runway, head on over here.