Sunday, April 5, 2009

From the desk of SGM

Dear Samantha Ronson,

You are not a 16 year old street thug.

The jig is up, sugartits. Now please stop trying to ruin every single photo you've ever been in.

Love,

SGM

P.S. That face will give you wrinkles.

photo of Sam and Charlotte Ronson (did you know they are twins?!) is from here, of course

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Keri Russell,

You are so beautiful. Plus you seem somewhat normal.

But I would not hesitate to murder you and dump your body in the woods if it meant I could have this outfit.

Love,

SGM

photo from InStyle January 2009

117 comments:

Courtney said...

When I saw that pic of Kerry, I thought the same exact thought. In fact, I'd probably wear nothing else if I had that get-up. Shoes included.

♥ Chloe said...

Yes, please.

mamacita said...

Who ever heard of a lesbian with long nails?

Richie Designs said...

you are so funny. love it.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Yeah, I don't know about Keri's shoes, probably a little too much 80's meet Laura Ingalls. But the sweater? Yum.
And I am so over acknowledging the beating-on-30's-doorstep Ronson is even relevant...

Kelly said...

Samantha Ronson is totally ridiculous. I don't know why she does that. That's the kind of thing you do when you're young (like, a 16 year old street thug) and you're embarrassed to be having your picture taken.

ShanAmy said...

I thought the SAME thing when I saw loverly Mz. Russell. I don't know if they still have it, but the sweater WAS on clearance at J. Crew - I picked one up for meself for about $40. SCORE!

Samantha Ronson? Puh-leeze. Girl, you need to build a bridge and get OVER yourself.

arollerskatingjam said...

I like your equally bilious and sweet thoughts.

Lucinda said...

Hey, growing up in the mean streets of Beverly Hills can place quite a large chip on a gal's shoulder.

Shannon said...

Yeah, maybe that's why Lindsay had enough..."Gawd Samantha, can you NOT embarrass me in one paparrazzi pic?!" Idiot.

And yes, who doesn't think Keri Russell is adorable to the point of nausea? Love her.

Harvey Millstein, Certified interior Decorator, said...

Samantha Ronson = The Lesbian Vanilla Ice

My Favorite and My Best said...

samantha ronson is a fuckstick. kerri russel is not.

Acorn, Dandelion and Rose said...

You crack me up. Dear Keri Russell, where are your shoe laces? That makes me nervous. And I know you're not going to eat that croissant. Can I have it?

fashiongirl said...

Girl - This is the singular funniest thing I've ever read. You rock!

The Lil Bee said...

Samantha Ronson bugs. Why can't she just smile?

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