Sunday, January 13, 2008
Beyonce makes a fool of me
I recently joined a gym and let me tell you, it has been a loooong time since I've been to the gym. The last time I set foot in a gym, mp3 players did not exist, so I was quite thrilled to strap on the ol' ipod and bounce my fat around to my own playlist. That is, until Beyonce's Irreplaceable came on. Oh my God, I am compelled to move to this song. Indeed, I have no choice but to move.
So picture me on the treadmill, a 36 year old white mother with a graduate degree, clenching her fists fighting to KEEP. IT. IN. while I hear "to the left, to the left . . . everything you own in the box to the left . . ." If you aren't familiar with this song, don't worry. I will post it at the bottom so that you will know the power that is Beyonce. Anyhow, I must move my head and shoulders in a leftward (is that a word?) motion when I hear "to the left, to the left." I also have lip-synch to this part, at the very least. And my hands, they have to be . . . out, fingers slightly apart, fully extended. I'm sure I looked like I was having a mini-seizure trying not to dance and sing with Beyonce.
And then after Irreplaceable? Gold Digger. That's right. Just try not dancing to Gold Digger. TRY IT. If you can remain still while listening to that song, well then I'll give you a trophy. A trophy that says "I am dead inside," because that is what you would be if you're not dancing to Kanye. I want to watch you when you hear "we want pre-nup, we want pre-nup, yeeeeeeeeeah," and see what you do. Myself, I have to be doing a "raise the roof" type of movement (similar to this person). It can be ever so slight, but it has to be there. It must be there or I will explode.
Please tell me that this is not my own psychological disorder (I think it would be classified with Tourette's). What songs have this type of effect on you? Besides Gold Digger, of course.
And now, I present to you: Irreplaceable. (fyi, the first 20 seconds or so are silence. Stick with it.)