Thursday, April 24, 2008

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?


Serena Williams

Why, shove it in a pair of jeans 2 sizes too small and hold your breath till you take them off with a pair of pliers. Jesus, it hurts just to look at this.

21 comments:

Kelly said...

why why why would you ever do that? Doesn't she have people who tell her these things before she leaves the house? Did she have to sew them on? Does she have to avoid liquids all night so she doesn't have to pee and go through the whole ordeal of sewing them back up again, and end up spending an hour in the bathroom while everyone things she must be in gastrointestinal distress? There are so many questions.

Sarah's Fab Day said...

What's up with the belt? Looks like a men's dress belt, ick.

Habitually Chic said...

That is a prime example of why curvy girls should not wear skinny jeans. If you are not skinny, do not wear skinny jeans people!

Jennifer said...

She's going to get a yeast infection from those.

Taddie Tales said...

hmmmm, wonder what's happening on the front side of all that - camel toe???? No way 'round it....

SGM said...

Ha ha ha on camel toe and yeast infection!

Kelly--YES! on the peeing. Good lord.

Sarah, I thought the same thing with the belt, just that it looked very late 80s.

Habitually, I agree with your rule, if not for her own good, then for ours.

Sucker For Marketing said...

I knew people who had to be sewed into their wedding dress, but come on, that was your wedding, not just some evening out for dinner at McDonalds!

amber said...

whoa! those are taiiiiiiiyt. gives new meaning to the line 'painted on jeans'.

Leslie (reclaiming miss havisham) said...

Sometimes I lie awake in a panic wondering what I'm going to do with all that junk....all that junk inside my trunk.

Jessie said...

Well sometimes I lie awake in a panic wondering if my husband would tell me if I looked like that before I left the house.

I *Heart* You said...

her ass looks like two christmas hams.

Scandalous Housewife said...

I don't even want to know what kind of camel toe is goin' on if she turned around...

Richie Designs said...

whoa nelly...I don't have anything else to say.

elaine said...

As a lady who some junk in her trunk, I will say that there are much better ways to accentuate the booty. Not only are the jeans terrible...the whole outfit is just dumb. It's a "bless her heart" moment.

Anonymous said...

I think she looks good.



(ducking quickly for cover)

The Nerdy Fashionista said...

you know what... I don't hate it nearly as much as I rightfully ought to. It's unflattering, but I don't think it's TERRIBLE. I think she semi-pulls it off because all that junk is muscle, not fat; if this were not an athlete you'd be seeing an entirely different (and far more upsetting) picture, I think.

SGM said...

Anon and NF, the thing is, when pants are that tight, there's a 99% chance that there's a muffin top. There's no muffin top! Girl's in good shape.

jozette said...

Yowza! I have a girl I work with who wears her pants about 14 sizes too small. You can see underwear lines. And by underwear lines, I'm talking about the seam that attaches the crotch to the underwear. You know the one...in the back. And she has a muffin top. And I hate her. I'm always secretly praying her pants will split.

Anonymous said...

sgm,

Agree. She has a bitchin' body. It's larger than the standard that white middle-class women try for, but it's strong and tight and in proportion. If anyone can wear those pants, she can.

Anonymous said...

PS: If you were being simple-minded (my talent), you could divide women's outfits into two categories: Dressing for men or dressing for other women.

Here, she's dressing for men.

Anonymous said...

She's got cushin for the pushin. And she obviously doesn't have the need to have an eating disorder in order to be an unattractive and rexy looking size 2.

Thank God for Latino and Black men! They will take this over some skinny girl any day!